-Originally a piece that I wrote on www.HmongPride.com- Clickable
I go by the name of Xeng. As many of you might know, I was born in Thailand. I came over in the year 2002. When I was applying, I didn't know my birthday, so they gave me one. I was born in 1987. Yeah, I know, I was only 15 when I came to the USA. But in reality, I believe I was older. Oh well, that just means I have more of a chance to go to school and learn stuff. I started as a freshman in high school. New to the states, I was quiet like your new comer Hmong boy. Slowly, I started befriending more and more Hmong people. The guys were always about playing and girls. And the Hmong girls were always about being good and school work.
Slowly, throughout the year, I started to become someone new. Not that quiet Hmong boy who didn't want to raise his hand in case he had the wrong answer. But I went to become a flirt. All the girls in school knew me, even the guys. There rarely was a single girl that ever made it pass me without talking with me.
Well that is until this one particular girl, who recently transferred to our school. Her name was Nkauj. When I first saw her, I thought she was a beauty. A true beauty. I just love the way she smiled with her eyes. It's like you could see happiness browsing her eyes. I started talking to her because I wondered if I stood a chance. Finally, a girl that I wondered if I could get with her. Someone who was worth stopping being a flirt for.
Then one day, as I was talking to her, one of friends was there too. Her friend asked me if I knew we had the same last name. Wow, was I stunned. I didn't know what to think and so I asked her. She confirmed to me that she was yet the same last name. My mind puzzled and felt defeated. Deep inside, I hid away anything that I started with her because my my morals, I couldn't talk to someone of the same clan name. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'm for doing it myself. Love can make people do some crazy stuff.
After that day and the little discussion, I stopped talking to her. Only to eventually slip out my real feelings for her and talk to her. Yet, I knew it was wrong to do so, so I held back. You know, it's like when you see the answers to the test on the table and nobody is there looking. You just want to take the answers, yet you don't want to get caught and you know it's wrong.
Weeks went by, I started to notice her less and less. I continued on with my daily tasks of enrousing girls. On that day, I was sitting around with Kor. Out of the blue, Kor says to me, "Xeng, Nkauj said she's not coming to school no more." I thought he was joking. He continued, "She said it's because of you that she doesn't want come to school anymore." What? What did I do? I haven't even talked to her for weeks, or I couldn't remember when I last did. I just shrugged it off, not thinking anything.
Suddenly one day, one of girl buddies, Lia, came up to me. She asked me what I was doing. Well, I looked around and was like, I'm just talking to that girl. What's wrong with talking to girl when you're a single guy? Nothing, I presume. In a straight forward action, she said, "Don't you know that you're hurting someone doing this? Don't you know that someone really likes you?" I chuckled to myself, of course there's someone who likes me. I joked to her, "Who would like me, I'm a fob?" In secret, she explained to me that Nkauj was the girl who really liked me. I was baffled. I told her, "Didn't you know we're both the same last?"
Lia looked at me confused. "No, she's not," Lia argued back. "What, go ask her yourself. I asked her last time and she confirmed it for me," I replied. "No, you got it all wrong. She really likes you a lot and you're hurting her by talking to every single girl you see," Lia responded with aggression. So I agreed to go talk to Nkauj.
It was passing time and I caught her in the hallway. "Nkauj!" I called out to her. She turning her head my way, I could see the sparkles fly like in those Korean movies. It was like time stopped for us. Just me and her, everyone around in the hall just walked around us. Our eyes planted in each other.
We made some quick talk about how each other was doing, then I walked her to class. I watched as she entered went into the classroom, only to hear the passing time bell ring. Darn it, I was late to my class. I rushed through the halls into the classroom and took a seat before my teacher took attendance. It was 4th hour Advance Algebra. I loved math, it was one of my top subjects, other than computer and business classes. Like your typical fob, I was horrible in English courses.
I sat through math class pondering about her. I questioned myself if it was the truth. If she really did like me. I thought about her over and over again. "Xeng, do you know the answer to this problem?" Mr. Rodgers asked me. Darn it, I wasn't paying attention. "Uh, no?" I looked lost. Mr. Rodgers quickly picked someone else to solve the puzzle, lucky for me I could just my fob accent to help me out. Lunch was next, and Nkauj was in my lunch hour. Darn, I just couldn't wait to talk to her again.
My heart excited as I stood in line for the hot lunch. Yeah, I know, I come from a low income family so I get free lunch. Better than going hungry at school. It's not the best food, but it's edible. As I stood in line waiting, my buddy Ker came up to me. "Xeng, you know that Nkauj likes you?" I laughed at him, "Dude, you got to be kidding me. A girl like her liking a fob like me?" Ker was being serious, he said he talked to her and she's really in to me. Ker suggested that I get her number and call her up.
Little did Ker know, I was already planning to ask her. Just I haven't had the chance to talk with her yet. I turned the shoulder and what do you know, she was standing there and heard our whole conversation. Now she knew that I knew. I looked at her and smiled with my dimples. I know, I know, most girls like those. Thank goodness I have them. But yes, I would be nothing without them too though.
I walked up to Nkauj. She just stood there waiting for me to approach. "So, um, Nkauj, I heard you like," I questioned her like a dumbass. Damn, I thought myself, where's all my pickup lines for all those girls I flirted with? How come this girl makes me feel dumb and I don't even know what to say to her? If it was just a typical girl, I would of just brushed her with my corny pickup lines. But Nkauj was different, I wanted to say things that wouldn't make me look like a fool.
The entire lunch period went by and I spent it talking with her. Also at the same time, eating my food normally so she wouldn't think that I was a slop. She was so charming to talk with. I really loved it. Ker kept budding in on me, telling me to ask for her number. Of course, he didn't just whisper it to me, he said it so loud she noticed. Oh boy, now how was I supposed to ask? Anyways, the period was over and I walked her to her next class.
End of the day came and I saw her by the doors about to leave. I pushed through the crowd of people to catch to her just as she was about to get into the car. Her dad was there to pick her up. "Hey Nkauj, um..." I mumbled, "When are you going to let me call you?" Oh darn, now I sound like such a loser. She just glanced at me with no interest. I paused myself, "Nkauj, can I get your number?" She looked at me with content and gave it to me. I told her to write it on my hand. Yeah, you know it, it's the cool thing to do. Now for a whole week, I wouldn't wash it off of my hand just so people would know I got her number. I was so happy.
Later on that night, after I did my homework. I picked up my phone. I punched in her number and took a deep breathe. I thought to myself, make a good impression, you don't want to scare her off. She's a special girl, don't scare her off and don't let your flirty side get to her. I pushed call. Please listen to this call tone as we connect you, Baby are you down, down, down, down... "Hello." I heard the most beautiful voice on the other end of the line. "Uh, hi, is this Nkauj?"
We continued to talk the whole entire night. She confessed that she did actually like me and that she lied to me about her last name. No biggie. She said that she has been watching me from far, where I don't notice her. She's been looking at me when I flirt with other girls. How she was jealous of them and wondering when I would notice her. I explained to her that it's because I thought she was of the same last name that I stopped talking to her. At the time, my heart wouldn't allow me to do such a thing, it was just wrong, I didn't want to lead on a girl of the same last name into something that will be nothing.
But now, she wasn't of the same, she was different. Enlighten my heart. We talked the whole night, resulting in me knocking out on her. I remember that day like it was yesterday. October 13th. That was the date that we first talked. Little did I know, days after after, I would continue to call her every single night.
I felt so comfortable with her already. It started at day one, she was really something. She was someone I could see myself being with. Someone who draws my entire attention. Someone would would make me stop flirting with every single girl that I peek my eyes upon. On the second night, she asked me to wake her up in 10mins since she was tired. I said okay, but I couldn't stop from talking to her while she was taking her nap. "Nkauj, you have 8 mins left," "Nkauj, you have 2 mins left," and so on. She laughed and giggled at the way I kept her up during her supposed nap.
Three days came along and I was so excited to talk with her every night. But this night, she asked me to stay with her on the phone all night since she was tired. I told her not to worry and I wouldn't hang up. Next thing I knew, it was morning and time for school. I walked into school wondering if she was there yet.
Out from behind, she came up to me and said to me, "Thanks for last night, I really enjoyed it." I smiled all the way down to my heart, knowing that I did something that means something for her. I thought to myself, this is coming off really great. I'm really into her and she likes me too. Love that goes and returns, that's my kind of relationships.
Weeks went by, we spent more and more time together. I would make her mad at me once in a while, then I would spend the entire day trying to make it up to her. She was pretty stubborn, yet I tried with all my might, telling myself to never give up if I really wanted her to be the one. So I never gave up trying. I pursue every ounce of energy that I had just to make her happy.
Suddenly one night, I was up waiting for her. She wasn't home yet. Made me wonder where she could be. I thought about her even more and I missed her. Then, I thought I'd call her one more time. What do you know, this time she picked up. She said she just got home and needed to shower. She told me she would call me after she showered. I laid in bed waiting, 30mins, 40mins, 50mins, and I lost myself. I knocked out.
I woke up about a hour later. I thought about her then suddenly grabbed my phone. Did I miss her call and not hear? I looked, nothing. So I called her. She picked up. "How come you didn't call me after you showered?" I asked her sleepily. She told me someone else called her and she would call me back in 5 minutes. Okay, sure, I thought it was reasonable. She called me back in 5 minutes. She explained to me one of her guy buddies was having issues and she was talking him. Oh, I didn't really care now that she was talking to me.
Morning came again, and it was school. I sat at a table with my buddies Kor and Vi. Vi goes, "Hey Kor, you know what I noticed different about Xeng?" I looked at him waiting for a joke. "Xeng has flirted with girls for so long. I miss my flirting buddy," Vi told Kor. Kor agreed with him that I have been different lately. They both came to the conclusion that it was because of Nkauj that their friend has become someone new. I just smiled at them, not saying a word because I knew it was true.
The more time I spent with her, the more people started to notice. Those girls that I use to talk to in the past confronted me. Endless amounts of them were angry at me. Saying what happened to me and them. One girl by the name of Ia even yelled at me screaming to never speak to me again. Even though she had a boyfriend, who I knew too. I have never considered her more than friends ever, not to add she had a boyfriend. Another named Kia, claiming we had something going on. All the sudden, all these girls were coming forward.
Majority of the people questioned and wondered what ever happened to me and Maicee. She too was a new girl to the school that everyone thought I pursued. Yet, she wasn't enough for me to stop my habits for. Then they questioned about Choua, Foua, and Ka. I know, I left myself with a bad name to start with. I hoped to myself that Nkauj would believe me that I honestly did like her. Not just like those other girls that I flirted with to pass the time, but I saw something in her. Something special that I wanted with me.
Continued in a little later. I've lost my mojo for this story, I shall continue it another day perhaps. Look forward for part 3. I just miss her too much right now to continue writing this random story. Anyways, remember that this story is fictional. Do not assume that anything happened since it is meant to seem real. Thanks for reading.
