SaLaVoNg's Blurs

Bum Passion

2010-01-31T18:58:00.002-06:00

Tonight started out the same as ever, boring and dull. I found myself glued to the seat of my computer, searching for a passion. For something to do, something to twitter my life about in. I was like a whirlpool spinning in circles, trying to suck things into me. But nothing, nothing at all would flow my way. Not even the tiniest watercraft, not even a bug. Nothing even made my life worth wild. Nothing had excitement. I lived the normal life, just woke up every single day for work. Then come home from work to sleep. Then repeat. I was like an iPod with only one song. Just one simple song on repeat, on shuffle, on mute, it didn’t make a different. It was all the same.

I quietly starred at my computer screen again, waiting to see if someone messaged me on my MSN. Quickly logged onto Myspace, Facebook , and every other social networking site you could think of. Yes, I enjoy going to those places. Everyone goes to those sites, whether you claim to or not. It’s nice to meet people you don’t know and keep up with friends. See their latest activities and what they are up to. But for me, I had those boring ones where it never updated. Nothing was ever on it. I never had pictures. It was blank. I just had a few words on it, and a place for people to leave me comments. I never was a talkative person, so if someone ever left me something, I would only answer them. And the conversation would stop there.
“Bling!” I got a new message. I wonder who it could be from. Never mind, I thought to myself, it couldn’t have been from someone. Usually it ends up being junk mail that accidently made its way into my email. I would usually just go delete them. So I clicked in, entered my inbox. Oh wow, I looked at the email address. It was from a friend that I haven’t spoke to for a long while. One that I haven’t even seen since high school. My friend wrote:

“Hey, haven’t heard from you for a long time. I just wanted to ask a favor from you. I know we haven’t talked for a long time, since we were together in high school. But this weekend, my girlfriend and her friend are coming in to town and we’re going on a date. I didn’t want her friend to be lonely and thought maybe if I asked you, you would do an old buddy a favor. I haven’t seen her friend, so I can’t say what she looks like, but please would you take this girl out with you. You don’t have to keep in contact with her or do anything with her if you don’t want to. I’m just asking, if you don’t do it, I don’t know who else to ask, since everyone else is married or committed to someone. Cept for you and me, lols! Shoot me back an email with what you think, or call me, 398-9399. That’s my cell. Thanks Bro!”

I laughed to myself. What a joke. He hasn’t talked to me for so many years and now he’s going to ask me for a favor out of the blue. Well, we did use to be good old high school buddies. Just after that, I became a bum and he went off to college. Of course he didn’t finish, due to the suffering economy that is dying in the United States. I thought to myself, I don’t even know how to treat a girl. The last time I went on a date was back in high school and that didn’t turn out too good. I couldn’t even remember my last girlfriend’s name. Of course, girls barely liked me either way. I probably won’t go, I pondered in my head. Yeah, I made my decision, I wouldn’t go. I started to write a response back to my buddy. Just trying to sound like I was super busy and couldn’t make it. Of course, he probably would figure out that I was just too chicken to attend this, since I didn’t know who the girl was and I was never a lady’s man.

“Ding-dong!” The doorbell rung loudly, ringing throughout the house. Nobody was home, except for me. So I hurried up off my computer seat. Ran to the door, opened it, and what do you know? My friend was at the door. The one that left me that dreaded email. “Hey, how’s it going?” I asked him, as if I haven’t seen him in years, literally. “So man, you going to help me out? I Just wanted to come over to your house and make sure you were going to come. I know I kind of put it as in you had a choice to back out, which I thought you were going to chicken out. Like always, but this time, I want you to meet her. Dude, my girl showed me her picture and damn dude, if I wasn’t with my girl, I’d try to get on that.” my buddy said to me. I laughed at his remark. How stupid of him to say that, of course he would say that just so I would get his back on this.

“Fine, I’ll help you out. But if she’s ugly, you owe me. I get your girl.” I joked with him. Done deal now. My friend quickly scrambled to leave and said to meet up at his place tomorrow at 6:00. He also told me to dress sharp since we’re going to some place nice.

Tomorrow rowed around quickly. I got off work and dressed up. Nice blue collared, dress shirt. All tucked in, looking sharp. I quickly slicked my hair with a cover of hair putty. Yeah, that stuff works miracles on my hair. I usually just sit around looking like a bum. Well, ready or not here I go. I walked out the door, hopped into my old school Honda Civic. Yeah, I know, I drive one of them rice burners. I actually didn’t do anything to it though. So it’s not really considered “riced” up. I backed out of the drive way, flipped on the headlights. As we all know, during this season, it’s dark out sooner, so yeah, headlights are on just for safety.

To be continued...

Passage before love.

2009-12-24T23:10:00.003-06:00

-Originally a piece that I wrote on www.HmongPride.com- Clickable

I go by the name of Xeng. As many of you might know, I was born in Thailand. I came over in the year 2002. When I was applying, I didn't know my birthday, so they gave me one. I was born in 1987. Yeah, I know, I was only 15 when I came to the USA. But in reality, I believe I was older. Oh well, that just means I have more of a chance to go to school and learn stuff. I started as a freshman in high school. New to the states, I was quiet like your new comer Hmong boy. Slowly, I started befriending more and more Hmong people. The guys were always about playing and girls. And the Hmong girls were always about being good and school work.

Slowly, throughout the year, I started to become someone new. Not that quiet Hmong boy who didn't want to raise his hand in case he had the wrong answer. But I went to become a flirt. All the girls in school knew me, even the guys. There rarely was a single girl that ever made it pass me without talking with me.

Well that is until this one particular girl, who recently transferred to our school. Her name was Nkauj. When I first saw her, I thought she was a beauty. A true beauty. I just love the way she smiled with her eyes. It's like you could see happiness browsing her eyes. I started talking to her because I wondered if I stood a chance. Finally, a girl that I wondered if I could get with her. Someone who was worth stopping being a flirt for.

Then one day, as I was talking to her, one of friends was there too. Her friend asked me if I knew we had the same last name. Wow, was I stunned. I didn't know what to think and so I asked her. She confirmed to me that she was yet the same last name. My mind puzzled and felt defeated. Deep inside, I hid away anything that I started with her because my my morals, I couldn't talk to someone of the same clan name. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'm for doing it myself. Love can make people do some crazy stuff.

After that day and the little discussion, I stopped talking to her. Only to eventually slip out my real feelings for her and talk to her. Yet, I knew it was wrong to do so, so I held back. You know, it's like when you see the answers to the test on the table and nobody is there looking. You just want to take the answers, yet you don't want to get caught and you know it's wrong.

Weeks went by, I started to notice her less and less. I continued on with my daily tasks of enrousing girls. On that day, I was sitting around with Kor. Out of the blue, Kor says to me, "Xeng, Nkauj said she's not coming to school no more." I thought he was joking. He continued, "She said it's because of you that she doesn't want come to school anymore." What? What did I do? I haven't even talked to her for weeks, or I couldn't remember when I last did. I just shrugged it off, not thinking anything.

Suddenly one day, one of girl buddies, Lia, came up to me. She asked me what I was doing. Well, I looked around and was like, I'm just talking to that girl. What's wrong with talking to girl when you're a single guy? Nothing, I presume. In a straight forward action, she said, "Don't you know that you're hurting someone doing this? Don't you know that someone really likes you?" I chuckled to myself, of course there's someone who likes me. I joked to her, "Who would like me, I'm a fob?" In secret, she explained to me that Nkauj was the girl who really liked me. I was baffled. I told her, "Didn't you know we're both the same last?"

Lia looked at me confused. "No, she's not," Lia argued back. "What, go ask her yourself. I asked her last time and she confirmed it for me," I replied. "No, you got it all wrong. She really likes you a lot and you're hurting her by talking to every single girl you see," Lia responded with aggression. So I agreed to go talk to Nkauj.

It was passing time and I caught her in the hallway. "Nkauj!" I called out to her. She turning her head my way, I could see the sparkles fly like in those Korean movies. It was like time stopped for us. Just me and her, everyone around in the hall just walked around us. Our eyes planted in each other.

We made some quick talk about how each other was doing, then I walked her to class. I watched as she entered went into the classroom, only to hear the passing time bell ring. Darn it, I was late to my class. I rushed through the halls into the classroom and took a seat before my teacher took attendance. It was 4th hour Advance Algebra. I loved math, it was one of my top subjects, other than computer and business classes. Like your typical fob, I was horrible in English courses.

I sat through math class pondering about her. I questioned myself if it was the truth. If she really did like me. I thought about her over and over again. "Xeng, do you know the answer to this problem?" Mr. Rodgers asked me. Darn it, I wasn't paying attention. "Uh, no?" I looked lost. Mr. Rodgers quickly picked someone else to solve the puzzle, lucky for me I could just my fob accent to help me out. Lunch was next, and Nkauj was in my lunch hour. Darn, I just couldn't wait to talk to her again.

My heart excited as I stood in line for the hot lunch. Yeah, I know, I come from a low income family so I get free lunch. Better than going hungry at school. It's not the best food, but it's edible. As I stood in line waiting, my buddy Ker came up to me. "Xeng, you know that Nkauj likes you?" I laughed at him, "Dude, you got to be kidding me. A girl like her liking a fob like me?" Ker was being serious, he said he talked to her and she's really in to me. Ker suggested that I get her number and call her up.

Little did Ker know, I was already planning to ask her. Just I haven't had the chance to talk with her yet. I turned the shoulder and what do you know, she was standing there and heard our whole conversation. Now she knew that I knew. I looked at her and smiled with my dimples. I know, I know, most girls like those. Thank goodness I have them. But yes, I would be nothing without them too though.

I walked up to Nkauj. She just stood there waiting for me to approach. "So, um, Nkauj, I heard you like," I questioned her like a dumbass. Damn, I thought myself, where's all my pickup lines for all those girls I flirted with? How come this girl makes me feel dumb and I don't even know what to say to her? If it was just a typical girl, I would of just brushed her with my corny pickup lines. But Nkauj was different, I wanted to say things that wouldn't make me look like a fool.

The entire lunch period went by and I spent it talking with her. Also at the same time, eating my food normally so she wouldn't think that I was a slop. She was so charming to talk with. I really loved it. Ker kept budding in on me, telling me to ask for her number. Of course, he didn't just whisper it to me, he said it so loud she noticed. Oh boy, now how was I supposed to ask? Anyways, the period was over and I walked her to her next class.

End of the day came and I saw her by the doors about to leave. I pushed through the crowd of people to catch to her just as she was about to get into the car. Her dad was there to pick her up. "Hey Nkauj, um..." I mumbled, "When are you going to let me call you?" Oh darn, now I sound like such a loser. She just glanced at me with no interest. I paused myself, "Nkauj, can I get your number?" She looked at me with content and gave it to me. I told her to write it on my hand. Yeah, you know it, it's the cool thing to do. Now for a whole week, I wouldn't wash it off of my hand just so people would know I got her number. I was so happy.

Later on that night, after I did my homework. I picked up my phone. I punched in her number and took a deep breathe. I thought to myself, make a good impression, you don't want to scare her off. She's a special girl, don't scare her off and don't let your flirty side get to her. I pushed call. Please listen to this call tone as we connect you, Baby are you down, down, down, down... "Hello." I heard the most beautiful voice on the other end of the line. "Uh, hi, is this Nkauj?"

We continued to talk the whole entire night. She confessed that she did actually like me and that she lied to me about her last name. No biggie. She said that she has been watching me from far, where I don't notice her. She's been looking at me when I flirt with other girls. How she was jealous of them and wondering when I would notice her. I explained to her that it's because I thought she was of the same last name that I stopped talking to her. At the time, my heart wouldn't allow me to do such a thing, it was just wrong, I didn't want to lead on a girl of the same last name into something that will be nothing.

But now, she wasn't of the same, she was different. Enlighten my heart. We talked the whole night, resulting in me knocking out on her. I remember that day like it was yesterday. October 13th. That was the date that we first talked. Little did I know, days after after, I would continue to call her every single night.

I felt so comfortable with her already. It started at day one, she was really something. She was someone I could see myself being with. Someone who draws my entire attention. Someone would would make me stop flirting with every single girl that I peek my eyes upon. On the second night, she asked me to wake her up in 10mins since she was tired. I said okay, but I couldn't stop from talking to her while she was taking her nap. "Nkauj, you have 8 mins left," "Nkauj, you have 2 mins left," and so on. She laughed and giggled at the way I kept her up during her supposed nap.

Three days came along and I was so excited to talk with her every night. But this night, she asked me to stay with her on the phone all night since she was tired. I told her not to worry and I wouldn't hang up. Next thing I knew, it was morning and time for school. I walked into school wondering if she was there yet.

Out from behind, she came up to me and said to me, "Thanks for last night, I really enjoyed it." I smiled all the way down to my heart, knowing that I did something that means something for her. I thought to myself, this is coming off really great. I'm really into her and she likes me too. Love that goes and returns, that's my kind of relationships.

Weeks went by, we spent more and more time together. I would make her mad at me once in a while, then I would spend the entire day trying to make it up to her. She was pretty stubborn, yet I tried with all my might, telling myself to never give up if I really wanted her to be the one. So I never gave up trying. I pursue every ounce of energy that I had just to make her happy.

Suddenly one night, I was up waiting for her. She wasn't home yet. Made me wonder where she could be. I thought about her even more and I missed her. Then, I thought I'd call her one more time. What do you know, this time she picked up. She said she just got home and needed to shower. She told me she would call me after she showered. I laid in bed waiting, 30mins, 40mins, 50mins, and I lost myself. I knocked out.

I woke up about a hour later. I thought about her then suddenly grabbed my phone. Did I miss her call and not hear? I looked, nothing. So I called her. She picked up. "How come you didn't call me after you showered?" I asked her sleepily. She told me someone else called her and she would call me back in 5 minutes. Okay, sure, I thought it was reasonable. She called me back in 5 minutes. She explained to me one of her guy buddies was having issues and she was talking him. Oh, I didn't really care now that she was talking to me.

Morning came again, and it was school. I sat at a table with my buddies Kor and Vi. Vi goes, "Hey Kor, you know what I noticed different about Xeng?" I looked at him waiting for a joke. "Xeng has flirted with girls for so long. I miss my flirting buddy," Vi told Kor. Kor agreed with him that I have been different lately. They both came to the conclusion that it was because of Nkauj that their friend has become someone new. I just smiled at them, not saying a word because I knew it was true.

The more time I spent with her, the more people started to notice. Those girls that I use to talk to in the past confronted me. Endless amounts of them were angry at me. Saying what happened to me and them. One girl by the name of Ia even yelled at me screaming to never speak to me again. Even though she had a boyfriend, who I knew too. I have never considered her more than friends ever, not to add she had a boyfriend. Another named Kia, claiming we had something going on. All the sudden, all these girls were coming forward.

Majority of the people questioned and wondered what ever happened to me and Maicee. She too was a new girl to the school that everyone thought I pursued. Yet, she wasn't enough for me to stop my habits for. Then they questioned about Choua, Foua, and Ka. I know, I left myself with a bad name to start with. I hoped to myself that Nkauj would believe me that I honestly did like her. Not just like those other girls that I flirted with to pass the time, but I saw something in her. Something special that I wanted with me.

Continued in a little later. I've lost my mojo for this story, I shall continue it another day perhaps. Look forward for part 3. I just miss her too much right now to continue writing this random story. Anyways, remember that this story is fictional. Do not assume that anything happened since it is meant to seem real. Thanks for reading.

Moment of the spur.

2009-10-12T12:32:00.002-05:00

-Originally a piece I wrote on www.HmongPride.com- Clickable

I quickly closed the door behind me as I stumbled on into the small room. It was as if I was in one of those sci-fi movies running away from the alien and I had just made it in time to close the door so the alien wouldn't get through. Btu then, you know how always goes, the alien will find a different way, through some other way or the ceiling. Movies these days are nearly predictable, but still fun to watch.

Looking around the room, I could see myself at a distance. I moved, he moved, I breathed, he breathed. Now it was getting weird, was I stuck in one of those mirror mazes? I then took a quick glance around the room, noticed 2 strange foreign instruments. One was tall, up to my waist with a dome shape, but it was the inside of it. On the top of the inside out dome was 2 round triggers and 1 leakage pipe.

The other instrument that I noticed was lower, to about my knee. It was in the shape of a bowl and had water in it. I wonder to myself if this was the foundation of youth for a sec, but then decided to not try it myself since I didn't want to live for ever like Tuck Everlasting. I'll take my chances as a normal human. This strange object as had a trigger, but not like the other, it was flat, seemed like it was a control key of some sort.

So I was curious, I turned the trigger count clockwise. The engine started to rumble. I looked down at the bowl and the water was gone, it must be an alien spaceship that the aliens have perfected a water fueling system to operate their ship. As the grand engine rumbled away, I turned to my left to notice, there was another door there.

I pulled open the hammered window door and then it came to me. I was in my bathroom, getting ready to shower.

The Quaterback.

2009-09-29T16:37:00.003-05:00

-Originally a piece that I wrote on www.HmongPride.com- Clickable

The door swung opened slowly, revealing the most beautiful woman ever. Sexy curves which you could only find on a centerfold. It was like those game shows where they open the door and behind there you find the mystery prize. But instead of a mystery prize, I knew what the prize was. I just didn't know how she was going to give it to me. Dressed down to only her bra and panties, she tempted me with a deathlike kiss.

Traysee dragged her feet across the carpeted floor like a model on the catwalk. Slowly, one foot in front of the other as she inched on closer to me. I could feel this feeling inside of me, warm, soft, oozing. My mind urge for her vigorous beauty, I just wanted to be wrapped up in it. Like the sinister snake, she slithered onto the bed.

Gently she glided her hands like a pilot landing her plane. Right up the runway of my legs towards the command tower, centered at the middle of the two runways. On her knees, she leaned forward to kiss me. Not the cheap kisses where it's over in a sec, but the ones with tongue. Where you wrestle back and forth exchanging saliva. Her grabbing at the back of my head holding me so I can't escape her spell. The command tower lit up in inspiration towards her as she landed herself on it.

Unhurried, I raced down her back, tripping over her bra strap. Triggering it to fall off onto my chest. Almost instantly she swept it away and continued with her ritual of love. My hands still journeying on down, just to slip under her bright red panties. She grabbed my hand forcefully but I assured her with a kiss. Loosening her grip on my hand, I circled around her slender body.

Suddenly a door slammed down the hallway. "Honey, I"m home," the voice said. Footsteps echoed the halls, approaching the room. She leaped off of me like a pouncing tiger. I fumbled onto the ground like when the quarterback drops the ball. Grabbing on as much of my garments as I could as I glared her pull on hers. Pulling the window opened, I sprung out like a ninja just as he entered the room.

I ran like I was doing a quarterback sneak. Widereceivers were covered, running backs all out, tightends defending, only choice left is to run for first down before I get tackled. Only thing left in my mind was if I would get to continue the play another time due to delay of game or was it a false start?

Who Will Be Her Prince?

2009-04-02T17:26:00.000-05:00

"Ahhhh", I signed as I sat down on my computer desk. I could feel my stomach bloated from dinner. I know, I should have eaten that extra piece of meat. We all know how it feels like, when the food is so tastey, you just can't get your fat butt from the table. You just want to eat away. I could feel the skin around my belly tightening as I glared at the computer screen.

I clicked on HmongPride.com, as it was already put on my favorites. You know, I go there so much. I'm like celebrity there. It's like those Hmong parties that you show up; everyone there says hi to you weither or not they know you. Of course, we are Hmong, so it's quite understandable. I typed away my screen name. Lately, I've been thinking of new screen names because I wanted to feel unique and new to HP. But yes, knowing me, even if I were to have a new name, everyone recognizes me. So there's not much use of hiding.

Today was one of those active days on HP. The screen moving at a steady pace, not too fast and not too slow. It's like the moments where you're on the freeway right before rush hour. The traffic is nice and thick, but cars are moving. Not like when it is rush hour, cars everywhere, piled up. Bumper to bumper, inching to move on forward. I mean, come on, if we all just stopped moving slowly, traffic would be fine. But out of luck, nobody interesting was on, so I blattered with some new comers.

All of the sudden, a person asked me if I was Peter. "Peter Salavong?" she asked me. I was like, "Yes, that's me." Thinking to myself, probably another one of my many fans on HP. Then again, the name resembled someone I knew. Her screen name reminded me of my Ninja student, Akina. But of course, I was certain that Akina would know who I was, even in desigse. I quickly asked her, "And who are you?" She then told me that I probably don't remember her. She claims that we met a while long ago, but she just hasn't been around lately. I couldn't remember who she was and opening admitted that I forget easily.

There was something special about this girl. Her words were speaking to me. You know, it's like when you're out shopping and you see the perfect clothes. They just jump out at you saying, "Buy me, buy me." She wasn't asking me to buy her, but just something about her charmed me. Catching my interest, somewhere inside my thick skull something clicked. Like those watch that die, replace the battery and everything on the inside slowly kicks in some juice and it ticks again.

Timingly, someone said they were going to sing for us on AsianTown Chat, or better known as ATC. And yes, I just adore singing, especially when it's someone that I could possible get the chance to know or that I know. My HP buddies, me, and her rushed recklessly to ATC. There, I noticed she had a webcam.

What are the chances? First, this stunning soul speaks to me, now I get the chance of a lifetime to view her through the lens of a camera. I sneakly clicked on her webcam. Enlarging it to see better. My mind jumped, only to see her chin. I asked her, "Would you please smile for me?" Oh wow, I thought to myself. She has the most beautiful smile indeed and perfect dimples to go with.

They say, "A lady is only as beautiful as her smile." And as what my eyes could only glance upon, she was truely beautiful. Gorgeous; my mind pondered. In quick stumbling flash, her beauty was gone. And yet, what was left but a swan. Puzzled my heart whined. A swan, the symbol of love and purity. A creature so marvelous. What has happened to this beautiful lady, has she yet turned into a swan? She still continues to speak to me, but in a swan form. Could it be, could I have setted faith upon to meet the tales told in fanasty?

Stumblingly again, she turned back into the beautiful lady that I couldn't steal my eyes from. I just wanted her to continuosly lure me in with her smile, endlessly. As to the fairy tale, Dummy was the Swan Princess of HP. Who will be her prince?

Her sister

2009-02-12T18:34:00.000-06:00

Today, yet another day. But yet at the same time, none other like it. I slowly stretched my arms, rubbing the eye booger out of the corner of my eye. Gently to the side I rolled off my bed. Strangling over to my computer, I turned it on. The blue glimmering lights shined to fill the darkness of my room. As the computer booted up, I scrambled into the shower. Quickly soaping myself, shampoo, rinse, and I was out. I dried myself off and clustered on my clothing. I grabbed for my toothbrush and squeezed on some toothpaste to brush my teeth.

Wide awaken now, I walked back to my computer. As I reached my computer, I noticed that someone had messaged me. They left me a message on MSN. I sat down and read it. It was from the lovely lady, Tina. This lovely lady, lovely yet dangerous at once. You know what they say, love is but a double edge sword. One side cuts into their flesh, the other into you. I fiddled my fingers on my computer desk, leaning my head back thinking of what to say to her. She was still online and left me a wonderful message.

Thoughts ran through my mind, questioning myself to say something encouraging. Something that would lurk her into my neck of the woods. Something creative, yet at the same clueless. Something like the excepted but it was buried under thousand of yells of ancient civilization ruins. My mind raced from place to place, around the world I went. Then again, nothing came through, so I dived into the deep blue sea with a hello.

Never the less, she was still awaiting at her computer. Or I would like to think that she was waiting for me, since she replied rather quickly to my response. I know, I know, I'm getting too over confident about this, she probably was busy doing half a dozen other things. Then at the tinkering sound of my message she just by chance happen to misclick onto my window. That's how it happens in the Korean Dramas but here we were in reality. Where magical things don't happen unless you make it happen.

With welcomings said and done, we continued on with our usual. We would ask how each other did, if the other ate yet, what are you going to do, what are you doing, and so on so forth. The usuals. Things quiet down for a few mintues, I didn't want for her to think that I was some total loser that didn't know what to say to her. So I prickled myself into a question, "Hey Tina, would you get on cam for me?"

"Sure thing," she replied with a gesture, "but you'll have to cam too." Thinking quickly to myself, I look like a scrub. "Oh, brb, I need to do something quickly," I typed back to her. Quickly I scrambled myself together, fixed my hair a bit so I would look like a bum. You know, my dad always says my hair looks like a bird's nest when I don't comb it. Didn't want her to think the same. I quickly went to my closet and grabbed a nice shirt so I would look good on cam. "Back," I proclaim to her.

Soon enough we were on cam, busy smiling at each other. It was like the first time when a boy and girl catch eyes on each other and you can't stop smiling. The lips don't even cover your teeth, no matter what color your teeth are or what's stuck in it. You just keep smiling on. These are the magical moments that you wouldn't want to forget. Felt just like I was in some Korean drama, but an online verison and reality, not just movies.

I keep staring on at her, noticing her beautiful smile glimpsing at me. Then I noticed someone in the background. "Who's that?" I asked her. Tina told me it was her younger sister. Thinking to myself, wow, she has a younger sister. Wondering if she looked a thing like Tina. "Hey, could you tell her to get on cam for me?" I shyly asked Tina. I watched as Tina turned around to ask, but her sister was gone. "She went downstairs," Tina told me. Ill fated me, didn't get the chance to see what her sister looked like.

Thinking today was my lucky day since Tina got on cam for me, I thought I would take a shot and ask for her number. "Here goes nothing," I told myself, "a girl like her, what are the chances?" "Um, Tina," I slowly mumbled on the chat window, "Would I?" I press enter without finishing my sentence. "Would you what?" she questioned in return. "Would I be able to get your number?" I filled in the blank. She kindly gave it to me with no questions asked, except for one clause, I had to not call block. She doesn't accept block calls. Then she told me she would have to go help her mom for a while and she's be back later. I gave her my kind farewell and let her go.

Now, my luck was rolling in. I felt like I could gamble the world and still win it back. I could take a one to a million odds and still win. Only thing was, I had to wait till 9pm to call her. Since free minutes didn't start till then. How boring, how troublesome. Time ticked so slowly, hours went by and yet, not even time yet. My watch was going slow, my clock was slow, my everything was slow.

Finally it was time, I dialed, beep boop teep teep beep boop beep toop teep beep. The phone rang as I cleared my thraot so I could make good first impression. A voice picked up, "Hello, who's this?" My mind impressed with her voice. It was like angels singing, like that sweet drop of honey that you just can't have enough. You drink it till it runs dry, yet this river of a lovely voice never stopped flowing. My heart never skipped a beat and I nearly forgot to take a breathe. Her voice was marvelous, so beautiful and deadly, I could sleep to it. "I'm Peter," I answered, "Who are you, is Tina home?" "Oh, I'm Debbie, hang on," she explained to me. "Um, err, could you waait," I stopped her. "What, I thought you wanted to talk with Tina?" she questioned me.

Now my mind was senselessly uttering, her sister had caught me in a tranch which steals me away with no return, no way back, not even Dorthy's red heels saying, "There's no place like home"...

$350 Deal

2009-01-26T19:06:00.000-06:00

Vrrrrroooooommmm. My car screamed down the road. Left signals quickly blinked and I pulled up into my drive way. Thump, thump, the sound of doors shutting echoed in the winter wonderland. I walked over to the other side of the car to assist my lovely lady, as if I was her escort. She was so everly beautiful, her name was Gao. Right as I continue to escort her to the door, my house door swung open. My mom stood in the doorway with welcoming arms.

My mom glittered away, "Oooh, you are Peter's girlfriend. You're so pretty." I was thinking to myself that of course she would be pretty. If she wasn't, then I wouldn't of took her to meet my mom. Now Gao, if you can picture this, she had a slim body figure. Like those centerfolds, prefectly shaped and proportioned. Her meduim lenght hair sparkled like silk of a sinster snake. Her face flawless with the most beautiful smile in the world. I swear she could kill a man with that smile. It was a good thing, I kissed her everytime she was about to smile; otherwise it would be as deadly as Medusa.

My mom dragged Gao with her to the kitchen to talk with her. My mom was so excieted to finally meet my girlfriend. Gao, I could tell from the way she walked and talked that she was shy. But before hand, I warned her and told her to be brave. Don't be scared of my mom, for this could be the only time. While in the car, I couldn't help but stare at her. She would glance back to me with with those "I love you" eyes and end it with a smirk.

I stood straight across the kitchen table admiring how she sway gently with her feet back and forth while sitting there commencing with my mother. Every time she would peek over at me, I would pretend to not be looking at her. Then look right back and smile flirtingly. I know, I couldn't resist it. She was just too much of a beauty to lay my eyes off of her.

Finally, time had rolled by for a quite a while. I could tell by her wandering eyes that she wouldn't last much longer. Parents can go on forever. Luckily only my mom was home, otherwise she would be there for another hour or so. I quickly interrupted my mom and told her we had a dinner date to attend. And that we were going to go there early because we had to stop at the store to buy something for her. My mom insisted on her staying there for longer, since my mom enjoyed company. My two sisters had gotten married already and my mom was the only woman at our house.

We hustled out of the door, with our warm jackets zipped up. Thump, thump. The sound of my doors closed again. "So, where would you like to go?" I questioned her. Slowly I inched out of the driveway, checking to see if any cars were coming. "Oh yeah, here's your $350," I said to her, handing her the money.

"How about some Perkins, them a walk around the mall, and take me to play some games?" she answered me back. "Sure thing and thanks for being my girlfriend for the day," I exclaimed, "I hope my mom doesn't ask again for a while." She questioned, "Can we stop and play ninja warrior somewhere?" I looked at her with promising eyes, "The park will do." And so my $350 deal was near to the finish. Within a week or so, I would tell my mom that we broke up and that all women were evil. I would complain that I wouldn't get married till 30 and hope my mom never asks me again for a while.

She reminded me...

2009-01-22T14:21:00.000-06:00

Outside was quite the muggy day. Fog creeping up on your doorstep like those scary movies, just about ready to grab your feet, then again it's just a gasp of cloud. I pressed the garage door button to close it and quickly dash under the garage door. Trying not to hit the sensor beam to open the garage again. Woshppppppph! Nearly lost my grip of the ground. I just recently ice stormed over our little town. Our trees were crystallized; when the sun shined at the right spot, you could see the beauty of the world.

I quickly rushed to the door, as the cold was biting on to me. I just got up to send my brother to school. I wasn't dressed yet, just in my sweats and a warm sweater, and a jacket tossed on. I had one of those puffy jackets, you know the ones that make you look as if you were a marshmallow. I opened the door, slipped off my shoes at the front door, as all Hmong families do. Then quickly turned and raced down the steps, threw my jacket and sweater off on my rocking chair.

Beep, boop, my computer started up. The blue glimmering lights shined in the darkness of my room.Before long, I was logged on to HP again as usual. Today was an awkward moment, as soon as I hit the chatroom, everyone welecomed me. Then there was this random girl who said hi to me. Didn't have a single clue who she was. I tried to ask her how she knew me but I didn't get any response from her. Everyone else muttered that I go chat so much that everyone ought to know me. They always say, there's hardly a person who doesn't know my name. Of course, doesn't mean I'm famous or anything, I'm just friendly.

I thought she was someone else, so I called her by that name. Soon enough, I figured that she just played along with me. I was just another clown sitting on the dunk tank and she kept throwing balls. Luckily I didn't fall in yet even though she hit the target. She didn't hit it hard enough. I told her to add me onto MSN since she knew who I was. Apparently, I just tried to trick her into revealing who she was. Didn't work too well though, since her MSN didn't display who she was. Her picture was hidden from my view and every time I would ask her, she would shy away from the subject.

I talked to her for hours on, trying to figure out who she was. I was like one of those chess geeks, poundering at what move to make next before my time was up. Across the board, or the net, this time was the other geek who was cleverly hiding their skills and thinking of new plans to trick me to coming out, so they can defeat my king. Finally after hours end on hours, she finally showed me who she was on cam. At the glance of her chin, she looked so familiar, as if I knew her from another life time. I knew that I have seen that chin of hers, the way she smiled. Her teeth, that nose. And yet, she wouldn't reveal to me what her eyes looked like. I quickly asked, "Would you please move the cam so I can see who you really are?" She adjusted the cam a bit, yet not revealing who she was either.

I kindly asked her to smile for me. As I believe that any girl is defined by her smile. Her smile was so beautiful, it sparked up her entire face. I felt as if I had kissed those lips before, as if I had pressed against those bare skin of her cheeks. I swore, I stared deeply into those beautiful eyes before and told her that I loved her. I couldn't figure, my mind just went berserk. My heart sung as if I was in love with her. I then asked her for a name. She replied with her name, of which I cannot name. "What?!" my mind questioned, "This beautiful lady, is she not that person of which I once love?" How come she possesses a different name, age, location, and everything was different. But her looks, so convincing to my mind that she was the beauty that I once loved. She has to be.

Then suddenly, she turned off her cam. I asked her why. She told me she had to sleep, for she had school in the early morning. She said she would return tomorrow to continue chatting with me. My mind cleared up and wished her a goodnight and sweet dreams. That night, I pondered on, deciding whether or not she was the person of which I once loved. What are the chances? They look exactly alike, yet act differently.

Tomorrow, I got up early. I awaited for her to come online all day. My heart raced as each minute ticked on the clock. I would sit and watch each MSN popup, not seeing her log in at all. It was like those lone cowboy movies, where you're out in the middle of the desert. Heat beating down upon you and you're thirsty. As I turned to look at the TV, I didn't notice, but she came online. She sent me a message. I glanced back to see a message for me and a smile on my face.

She then asked me of a question. She asked, "Will you love me?" My mind puzzled and I answered her, "How can I love you within a day of meeting, why not we get to know each other much better?" I certainly couldn't love someone I just met in a single day. I just couldn't do this, if I were to tell her I would love, I knew I was sure to break her heart within time. She begged of me to just love her, just love her even if I were to break her heart. Even just for one day, she would be happy to be my love. I explained to her that I couldn't love like that, I hate breaking hearts and wasn't willing to do that to her since she was so nice to me.

Yet, she wanted me to either way. I told her to let me think about it since there was something questioning my mind. Something stumped my mind and wouldn't let me get with her. I felt as if I were in a trap with myself. I set this up but yet caught myself only.

And so that night, I figured my thoughts. I couldn't bare break her heart. She reminded me of someone. Someone who I spent over a year praising, trying to mold us into a good relationship. The looks, their face were exact to the point where it scared me a bit. Not because of ugliness, but of the similarity between them. I broke one's heart, I was sure history would repeat itself and could not bare to break another's heart. Like a fairy tale, I left it untold that she reminded me of someone that I once loved...

Down the Hallway

2008-12-15T15:31:00.000-06:00

Beautiful summer sunny day. You could smell the air of freshness wondering through your hallway, crawling underneath you doorway into your room. Glances through the window and you could see the green grass and tree branches swaying in the wind. Yet today was another loser moment for me, I have yet to want to step outside. Twas I knew the deep summer heat would deep fry me like a oven roasted chicken. I keep my cool staying in the air conditioned room.

Again, like always, I was on my computer. And you guessed it, I was on HP. I'm a regular addict, which would hardly go a day without HP. A day without HP is like a day without smiles on everyone's faces. I chatted with the regulars. You know, the regulars, people who are always there with me. Other addicts, but I think they would prefer being called regulars since addict makes it seem like they are druggies. Chatting along about nonsense, like always, we never have anything too important to share with one another. We just blather along say stupid things here and there to make one another laugh or so type out lol and lmao. Little do we know that the person on the other screen is even laughing or even grinning their teeth just a bit.

I continued my lightness spur and encountered a pc. In HP terms, a pc would mean personal chat or private chat. Whichever you prefer to call it. Most of the regulars do not fond upon pcs, we would rather chat publicly on the main chat. Most of us would reply with these terms, "NO PC PLEASE," and continue on with our daily nonsense activities. This pc had said hi to me. I was bored at the moment so I return their pc in a friendly manner.

I simply entered a hello. This person who which pced me, suddenly almost instantly said "411". To me, I personally find the term 411 overused and of to no meaning. When a person asks for 411, what am I supposed to give them and what not to? And plus, if we were to give all of our information out at one time, the conversation would go no where and end there. So I puporsely tell them some random name only. This was only because I couldn't careless to personally know this person or I felt that they might stalk me. And to my liking, this time, I told them my Hmong name, Xeng.

In return, I kindly asked for her name. She replied with a gesture of her name. I thought to myself, how awkward, she poses the same name as someone down the hallway. I then asked her what her age was. She replied and the pieces matched. Location, picture, and even Asiantown. To my surprise, every piece of the puzzle matched. So in refute, I didn't continue to give her a gathering of my information.

I exited out of that pc and silently laughed to myself. And to this day, she has yet to know that I was the guy behind the screen, even though she was as little as a few doors down the hallway...

Titleless love

2008-12-10T17:19:00.000-06:00

About two years ago, this very day, it was a beautiful wintery day. The air was crisp and the ground covered in snow mountains. Mountains of white fluffiness and miles and miles all around the entire town. You could literally swim in these pile of snow banks but I'd advise you not to. Well, on that day, I continued on my usual addiction of HP. HP is like a cup of coffee, those who drink coffee either like it or don't. Those who like it continue to drink it and each have their own preference to how they want it to taste.

Not knowing it, I have been on HP for hours. Time really pasts by when on HP, you just logged on 5 minutes ago, next thing you know it's already dark outside and you need to off to bed but you don't want to sleep yet. I had spent hours endlessly typing; sometimes, I would like to think this is where I got all my typing skills from. Now these were the times when HP was filled with people daily and everyone would come talk to everyone, not like today where HP is only populated when people are online.

Well, just as I was about to head offline, I noticed a glimps of someone I never talked to. Someone who was always there, but I never spoke a word to. She was like a virgin; a virgin as in suppose to that she never spoke to me before. As many of you might know already, I usually talk to everyone and anyone on HP, and most of you already know me. But this one person, I have never spoke too.

In my mind, I said to myself, "What the heck, talk to her just before I go to sleep." I entered into a conversation with her, leaping forth like an antelope being chased by a tiger. But likewise, I was the tiger this time and she was my antelope. We started off introducing each other to one another on a first name basis. Simple and polite. She spoke to me in gentle manner, one of a lady. Then at times, she would catch me with a joke or two, which caught me chuckling to myself in the darkness of my room.

She was charming, and had the pot of gold heart. Her words caught my heart right away, as if you were to go fishing and cast out. On your first cast our as it drops right into the water, a fish bites it right away. Reel that sucker in and it's the biggest fish in the sea. You'd throw that fish right into your bucket after a hour-some wrestle. I was waiting upon her tender heart to reel me in and take me home with her.

We continued on our love spur, countless hours and days went on. She was mine, cast in a love spell. A spell that only the great sorcerers of love could ever conduct, so deeply, so madly, so true from the heart. Throughout the time, I laid eyes upon her beautiful face. Her smile structured so beautifully; as she smiled, you could say the world smiled with her. Her smile could make rainy days turn sunny with butterflies and rainbows.

We had fallen in love so quickly. It was like a turn at the corner and lighting struck just in time for you to make the corner. Electric rushes throughout your body, then suddenly rushes out into nothingness. But yet, there is still one thing I haven't asked her. I knew nearly everything about her, but I had left one thing out. It was like when you take an exam, you answer all the questions you can first. Leave the ones that you don't know blank and come back to it later.

Yet, it wasn't that I didn't know the answer to the question, it was I didn't want to question the question. I had went head over heels for this girl and had forgotten the most important question ever. No, it wasn't if she was virgin or if she was married. Nothing of that nature. I couldn't get inside of me to ask her. The knight inside of me was battling a horrible dragon. A fire breathing beast, flames so hot that even the air around it burnt.

I finally popped the question. I was like a man down on his knees, proposing to his girlfriend if she would marry him. Ring in one hand, another holding on to her. Yet, I wasn't proposing, but the pressure was there. I typed slowly on the chatbox, "What's your last name?"

And yet to this day, my titleless love's answer to that question renounces as my own answer...

Mother of One and One to Come

2008-11-30T10:53:00.000-06:00

"Vvvvrrrrrrroooooooooomm." A slight turn, straighten out, and we were parked in the parking lot of WalMart. There was six of us packed into a one small passenger car. We didn't care, we were Hmong. Hmong people always do that, it was our way of carpooling. We would always stack loads of people into one car as long as we could hold each other in our laps and the car would still be able to move, we were fine with it. "Bpumt, bpumt, bpumt, bpumt," our doors shut quickly and we flocked into the store. Straying across the parking like a pack of wolves in the burning cold of winter. The concrete ground was wet in melting snow as each step we took seemed heavier.

"Ahhhh," we had finally made it inside the warm store. It was like the Cambell soup commerical were the little child comes inside the house as a snowman, but the first sip of soup, she melts and becomes the lovable child again. I asked my sister, "Aren't you going to get a cart, we'll need one?" She didn't hear me due to the loudness of other conversations going on around. I asked her again and heard this time, grabbing a cart with it.

Luckily, this time we didn't get one of those retarded carts. You know, the ones where one of the wheels is lifted higher and when you push it, it makes this sound that catches everyone's attention. It rattles back and forth as if its life depended on it, but never falls off. Well, we continued to walk pass the WalMart greeter, "Hi, welcome to WalMart."

I glanced down the long strip of walkway and I saw someone I recognized. Nervous she would say something, I tucked behind my brother-in-laws. Blending in among them as if I were hidden, nobody could see me. We walked right pass her. She didn't recognize me. Then all the sudden, like a lion hiding from it's prey, she appeared.

It was my ex-girlfriend and her sister. She sighted my sisters and rushed towards them to greet them with hugs. I tried to appear as a shadow behind my brother-in-laws so she wouldn't notice me being there. It didn't work too well, she pushed through my brother-in-laws like the running back of a football team. The quaterback hands off the football to the running back and he rushes through the defensive linemen, pushing over whoever is in the way, until he is brung to a pit stop. Only to change his tires like in Nascar racing.

She grabbed hold onto me and hugged. I didn't know what to do, this girl was my ex-girlfriend and she was currently married. What am I supposed to do? My mind filled with guilt. I can't hug back this girl that I once left behind for she is married. She belongs to another man, if people were to see me do this, they would have said I wanted her back. All the sudden it seemed to me as if the whole world was looking at me, eyes peering one on one from every which corner of WalMart.

Her mom stood not too far away and walked up. I gently patted her on the back, hoping she would release me. Then, it was over. She let go and asked me how I was doing. Of course, we all know that if I was doing bad, I would just say I was doing good. And so I replied, "I'm good, how are you?" Suddenly, my sister interrupted. Thank goodness she did, and my ex-girlfriend's attention sway away from me.

I greeted her mom politely, "Nyob zoo os phauj." She glanced at me in confusion. She had forgotten who I was. She asked me who I was. I reminded her my name was Peter. In an instance, she asked about my schooling and if I was done yet. I told her I had just finished this year and was looking for a job. She then continued on to invite me to visit them. Polietly I told her when I had the chance to and wasn't so busy I would come and visit them. We all know that's a lie though, you just want to sound poliet.

When their daughter is your ex-girlfriend and is married, you never visit them anymore. Hugging a mother of one and one to come is a crime of the heart. Even as bad as she wants me back, she is a married woman. I rather not be included in a love scandal.

Beast to beauty

2008-11-27T08:53:00.000-06:00

About a year ago, around the same time. It had just hit the beginning of the cold winter, with frostbites waiting for you to go outside just to leech on to you and drag you down with the common cold. My brother had met a this girl online. He told me about her, about how ugly, beast-like she was. She was huge and wanted him desperately. Yet, he wanted nothing to do with her. It was like they were opposite ends of the magnet, no matter how she wanted to stick on to him, he just leaped away like a frog.

He had shown me her picture, and sure enough she was a beast. A beast of no description. One that even scientists would find as a new creature upon our beloved Earth. With her looks, not even the world's ugliest animal would turn her way. She either had to be forced into a marriage or she wasn't going to get a husband. You know, us Hmong people, girls can force a guy into marriage by faking he did this and that to her. She could even fake pregnancy but for us smart guys, there's always DNA test.

I laughed silently to myself and told him, "Dude, why don't you just be nice to her." He gestured at me with an evil sin upon his face. I could tell from his face, he wasn't going to be nice to her. I could tell because he's my brother. He had already thought of one million different mean things to say to her in his mind. And yet, this girl plead with him to give her a chance. He refused, like the general in the war, refusing to back down. The general would do whatever it takes to defeat the enemy and keep his men alive. She told him, "You watch me, I'll change for the better." He laughed in her face, like a little kid geeking out about some stupid yo mama joke.

A few months pasted by, and it was about the start of summer again. Spring had brung us showers of rain, and uproar a bundle of freshly grown plants and animals. The sun had started it's inclined of heat and it was time to play. But here, my brother was online chatting with internet girls again for a quick moment. He had met this girl who knew him by name. She had every little detail about him, like she was his girlfriend. She was very stalker-like.

My brother glanced at her pictures and yet nothing clicked on in his mind. He still said, "Nope, I have no clue who you are." She mentioned upon her name again and my brother thought back in time. His mind time traveling like the movie, Back To The Future. Or even yet, his mind warp like the Terminator back to save Sarah Conner with all the lighting. Probably without the naked men though.

Then suddenly, he figured it out. The light came on in his head. Sherlock had solved the mystery once again. She was the beast. The beast had completed did a 360 flip. She was another person. It was like she went to the Tyra Bank show and got a makeover. My brother laughed still and said, "Peter, look what happened to that ugly girl." I took one look and replied, "Woah, you sure she didn't photoshop?"

And then we left her talking to herself...

Bear nobody could bare...

2008-11-25T18:28:00.000-06:00

I had just finish putting rice in the rice cooker to cook as I sat in front of my computer. I know, most Hmong guys don't cook but hey it's always useful to know how so you won't die of starvation. Yeah, probably in the US, majority of us guys don't know how to cook anything much. But it's okay, we have moms, sisters, and sometimes wives. We are dependent on them as they are dependent on us. It's how the world works; we are the Yang, while they are the Yin, together we're Yin-Yang. Majority of the time, girls will say they can live without us lazy bums, but it's never true. They need us as much as we need them. Saying this reminds me of Captain Planet, "With your powers combined, I am Captain Planet!"

My thoughts had just collected like the small child picking up blocks. One by one stacking them on top of another. Building their castle of the almighty. Click, click, tap, tap, tap, I was connected to HP for another unpredicted journey. As I logged on I noticed a stranger. Someone bright and open, trying to make friends; even to go as far looking for a girlfriend. You can always tell these type of people, even in real life, they have this brightness to their face and would always talk friendly with you.

I spoke to him and he sounded like a likable guy. But the moment he tried his luck to a fair lady, he was turned down. It was like he was cursed was bad faith. He was the guy at the claw machine. You know, those claw machines they put up at your local stores and arcades. You can move the claw freely at your will and make it drop before the timer ends. You're always eying your prize and your heart beats so hard just to see if the claw will grab on tight. But I tell you, those claws are rigged. Those claws never able to grab anything. You mind as well throw your money away. The few times you actually get a prize, it was because the claw caught something. Likewise, this stranger, the bear had such trouble with the ladies.

I observed him from a quiet distance, like a sniper up in a crow's nest. I carefully scoped him and looked at his connections. You could see his every moment and read his every word. Then I noticed, out of no where it seemed he had a chance. A girl, a girl had asked for his MSN. Did his claw finally catch onto a prize by mistake or have his claws been tighten? He was so happy, he came to be exclaimed, "Peter, Peter, did you see that, a chick asked for my MSN?" I replied to him in surprise, "Yeah, I saw that, give it to him." You could see it in the character of his typing, he was joyful. Even his words smiled.

He was like a little child on his birthday. Lights out, candles lit, big birthday cake, and presents. Everyone was chanting the happy birthday song. As you look in the child's eyes, you could see it open wider and see the flames reflect in his eyes. As the song eyes, someone gestures to make a wish. He takes his deepest breathe, one inhaling so deep, his entire lungs filled with air; only to blow like the windy kite days.

The bear had disappeared with his prize. I was left to amusing myself with the losers of HP. I associated myself with some goodie girl, who could most likely be a man on the other screen. For all he and I knew, we were what we said we were. Then a few friends came by, everyone set their greetings and quietly sat back to watch the screen, only to reply when their name was mentioned. Most of us claim to be doing something else when weren't replying, but truth is we were just waiting for someone to say something to us.

Then his name flashed by again, Teddy. My bear buddy had returned but not with a smile and so quickly. I glazed on over as he sadly mentioned, "She saw my picture and said she'd be right back and never returned." Now, the child with the birthday cake had open his present, only to find he got some gift he didn't want. Some gift of no meaning, no fun, not even worthwhile to look at. This child had shed a tear, so silently that his sadness echoed in his heart. Now the birthday party was ruin, it was the worst day ever. Not even a sunny bright day where you were forced by your parents to stay inside, while your friends laughed and played was as bad as this.

I didn't know what to say to him. I was clueless, mentionless, not even one advice to give him. Yet again, Teddy was the bear, nobody could bare...

My brother, the fireman...

2008-11-24T17:29:00.000-06:00

"cough, cough, cough" I echoed in the quietness of my dark room. All you could see was my computer screen lit. The brightness glowed like at the end of a tunnel. All you heard was the constant cough coming from my rasping throat and my fingers pressing down on keys. My fingers hit the keys so fast, it seemed like a machine gun. Like in those war movies, "ta-ta-t-a-tat-at-" and the enemy would be shot down. Never again to stand up.

Yet I wasn't in the middle of a war zone battling my heart out, I was again casted away in the ocean of HP. My mind so concentrated towards the screen. You could say, not even a bomb would of moved me. I was glued there; my dad always yelled at me for this. He says that I spend too much time on the computer and that I should go out and do something productive. There's never anything productive to do, at least in my mind set. Hmong parents are always like that, when you stay home they think you should go out and have fun, when you go out and have fun they think you are being too bad and should stay home. Can't they just make up their minds?

Today, I was online chatting with that one special girl. The special girl that I have met on HP. She was like such an eye opener to me. I never met someone like that before. When I talk to her, I get that feeling, the feeling where it burns inside of you. You know, they always say your heart doesn't have feeling to it, well it does when you're in love. You can feel the constant urge and rush that it has, every heart beat sounding to echo throughout your whole body. I have charmed my way into this wonderful girl's heart. I knew she liked me from the start, most likely just because of my dimples. But oh well, I saw her pictures and she was a goddess. She was everything a guy could ask for: beautiful, educated, tall, skinny, long hair, beautiful beautiful smile.

Constantly we would flirt back and forth on HP. It was to our own excitement. We would act as if we were dating, of course everyone not knowing any better thought it was real. Rumors spread faster than I could log on HP. You know how Hmong people are, we love gossiping. It's one of our favorite pass times. You could tell one thing to a Hmong person in California and expect it to be heard in North Carolina by tomorrow morning. That's the power of word of mouth. Anyways, we were dating yet, so my brother, the fireman talked to her too. I'd just say, we both have equal chances to talk with this person. It wasn't like we were sharing but we weren't greedy either.

Days on in and days out, me and the fireman continued to talk with her. We seized opportunities to talked to her as she was a busy person and disallowed us the chance to call her. She was always about keeping her phone a secret away from us, while she could only call us on her own time. Never the less, we continued to fight our through.

Finally one day, I convinced her to give me her number. Took me like an hour and a half, but the time spent was so short in my time frame. As time spent trying to get her number was time spent well with her. I was happy and joyful that she would spend this uncounted time with me. I could just feel it, we were made for one another. I would call her before her classes and after I got off my classes. Sometimes, when we were both free, we would call my brother, the fireman. A three way conversation here and there was quite the interesting time.

Months went by and it was time. I finally finished college. It was time for me to move back. This was the most incredible time of my life. I have finished college making my parents proud. And even yet, I impressed this girl of the faint heart. She thought I was really something as I was only 20 and finished college. We now have grown to a constant talk everyday, even at times falling asleep on the phone. Then she'd wake up in the middle of the night to check if I was still there, if I didn't answer she would call back and wake me up. She would tell me I was snoring and she would go back to sleep; I soon after her.

She was such a sweetheart, at the same time I charmed my way into her heart, she slowly stole me away too. The more we convinced one another, it seemed the more she forgot about my brother, the fireman. I have felt this deepness of being a thief. It seemed as if I have stolen this princess from my brother, the fireman. It was as if I was the bad in the in story and he was the superhero. I have kidnapped his bride in training. But at the same time, I was having the ride of my life.

Things magically happen, we haven't decided our fate yet. There was always something in question that I never knew about her. It's like those times, where you meet someone new. They always act nice to you but you don't really know how they feel for you. It's like they are hiding something, standing in the shadows just waiting for you to walk over into the dark side and join them. Once you get there, they'll reveal the secret, but not until you're complete obsessed over them.

Our tale ends here today, but our love never ceased to die. It continues on to find love of the unexpected, but that's a story for another day...

Tus Hlub Nyob HmongPride.com

2008-11-23T17:18:00.000-06:00

Brisky afternoon, I rush on down the driveway, only after I have press the button for the garage to close down. The winter air surrounded as if when you hit nature's bee hive and bees swarm to attack you. I could feel the coldness crawling up my legs with everyone swift movement. I made it to the door, quickly fiddling through my keys to get the correct key. My door opens with my mom behind it. "Oh, hi mom," I said with a breath of coldness.

I take off my shoes on the doormat as all of us Hmong people do. We find it polite to leave our shoes at the door or perhaps so we can keep the carpet clean. I glide on down the stairs and grab a seat in front of my computer. I could see the blue icy lights still glowing around my computer tower. Darn, I forgot to turn it off. I move my mouse to awaken the great beast, laser shined from underneath.

"Click, click, click, click..." and I was back on HmongPride.com. HP has become a custom for me. I automatically attend here here as if I was the prefect school boy who goes to school everyday. Even if I was sick, I wouldn't dare skip. I would wander myself into HP and be welcomed by your friendly HP addicts or at least they try to be kind.

"Hrm," I thought to myself. There was something new, something different. It's like when you leave your room soundly, then return to find something misplaced, you know right away someone has touched your stuff. I looked at the chatters and what do you know, there's a new name on the board. Someone who I haven't talked to before, nor asked for her picture. As I am very well known for pursuing numberous amounts of pictures. I look at pictures like the little boys at the soccer tournaments look at their newly collected YuGiOh cards.

I start off with the everyday common line I always say to any newcomer, "Hi Neanie, share your picture with me?" To my surprise, she replies, "Hi Ninja." Skips a few lines and continues, "I'll share mines if you share me yours first." "Blah!" I thought to myself, what nonsense. I really believed girls should be more poliet towards us guys and share when we ask first. If they asked me, I would share first; but for a trade that is.

Cunning enough, I replied back, "Share yours first and I will share mines with you too." Our childish play went on for a few minutes. We ere like two little kids fighting over who gets to ride the swing first. We couldn't have just understood that either way, we would get our chance on the swing. So I pursued my rampage on this girl like fire ants of Africa. You stumble onto their home and you're in for a surprise. You'll be eaten alive if you don't hurry out.

She finally gives in to my productive ways. She flashes by her Myspace and says, "Add me then, after I see you, I'll delete you." I was sure enough, I didn't care whether or not she kept me on her buddies for long or not. I just wanted a quick glance at what she looked like so next time I would remember who she was. Just like those little kids at the tournament, even though you can't have the cards in their deck, you still look at their cards so you know what it looks like. Sometimes you just look to admire them and then you have them sticky-hand Hmong kids who take off with your favorite YuGiOh cards.

I added her on Myspace and what do you know. She was a pretty girl. Now I know why she was hesitating to share me her picture first. She thought I was one of them internet predators who come on here to sweep young girls off their feet. Or perhaps she thought I was just another ugly desperate guy who asks girls for all their pictures so I can carefully masturbate to them in the pits of night. But never the less, I returned back into the chatroom. I asked her, "Are you still going to delete me?" She kind replied now with a smilie face, "No, I'll think about it." Then she commented me, "I might want to keep you around, just so I can look at your dimples."

A small flame burst inside of me, then my innerself wanted to laugh out loud. Of course, I knew she had found that I wasn't one of those internet predators or desperate perverts. She then scrambled together to ask me of my information. I kind present her with my not-so-interesting self. Then popped the question, "Are you really 21?" I laughed in an instance reply, "Why, don't I look 21?" She said, "No." I laughed again, "Why would I lie about my age?" She then suggested, "I don't know, I just didn't want to be child molesting."

Carefully, I questioned her. I was the host of the show, I had the microphone. I interviewed her like a talkshow host, "What's your name?" She quietly responded, "Maichou." I continued, "Can I call you Mai, or Chou?" Quickly she typed back, "Mai is okay, but I would really prefer Maichou or MC." MC it was, I continued to call her MC for the rest of our conversation.

A clocks just ticked as if we were one, and the time matched perfectly. And yet the day was ending, so she hurried to say goodbye and left. I had to await for her return another day...

Peace of HP, piece of my heart...

2008-11-22T19:46:00.000-06:00

Awkward enough, it was a stubborn night. Sitting in my basement, or shall I say my room in the classification of the dark, I could hear the cars running on our busy street. I was bored, the bored where you do one thing, but it just doesn't entertain you so you try something, but still it doesn't make a difference. What was I supposed to do?

I glazed across my computer screen gently staring out into openness of my desktop. Icons piled on one another with nothing important. I still had nothing to do. My finger steadily click down on my mouse button with a slight clicking noise. Firefox popped up and I clicked onto HP. Of course HP is saved on my favorites. Not only that, I put it on my quicktab just so I can access it quicker. You know HP is like those carnival. When you're older, you always look at carnivals and say it's for kids to go on, but then when you get on one ride, you forget the sense that it's for kids to go on only. You keep going for more and more rides. Next thing you know, you've been on every ride you could and won the most prizes with your luck. Well, HP draws you in the same way.

"SaLaVoNg NiNjA", I enter in the login box. I click connect. Java loads up and a window pops up. Finally, I'm on HP again. Once more, the regulars are there chatting about. They have nothing to say but ramble about nonsense that happened. Then you have occasional person who makes fun of everyone and anyone, the prevert who talks about his own penis as if he did himself in the butt, the slutty girl who's really a guy, the stuck up girl who won't share her picture.

Then there was her. She spoke so nicely and kindly. Her array of kindness just freshen the air in HP. It was magical, as if it were a dream. Her sentences prefectly with a capital letter and ending with a period. How could this be? Which girl does that? I thought to myself, "Gee, none of these freaks could ever type like that unless they were really an innocent girl."

Yet enough, I carefully looked at the name of the user. Her name was as if her character suggested. Her icon embracing the circular shape with lines intersecting, resembling the symbol of peace. And to my surprise, she too was named Peace.

I quickly tried to grab her attention, "Hello Peace." She replied back to me with a smile, "Hi Ninja." My mind was dancing. I was doing the salavong in my head all by myself. Dancing around this one girl. For those who don't know what the salavong dance is. It's that dance that our parents do at the new years. They go around in circle, waving their hands back and forth like the branch of a tree that gets pushed around by the wind. I was in my mind, in the pits of cloudiness circling round and round.

What was she? Better yet, who was she to cast this spell upon me? It was as if I have wander in the 10,000 year old prymaid and revealed the curse of a mummy. A curse so deadly, that even Hmong shamans gathered from the four corners of Earth couldn't heal the curse. I had be head over heels for her, but yet I only heard a simple greeting of kindness.

"You have been kicked for post voilation." flashed across my screen. What? I have been kicked from HP. My mind went into blankness, what just happened? I haven't even had the chance to reply back to this wonderful girl and yet, I have been kicked. "Great," I thought to myself, "I'm such an idoit." Why have my mind frozen in the middle of compling for her?

I quickly press connect to return to my frozen stupidness. Where was she? Where is the one that creates such an earthquake in my heart. I waited upon the clock. Time slowly passed on by, every second grappling me tighter and tighter with a rope. I could feel the strain, the pain just waiting for her return. Was she going to return or was I to rub a magic lamp with no genie in it, but pure dust? It was as if, all the leaves on my tree branches have fallen off. I am bare naked, with the wind blowing at me. Colder and colder it got, like the arctic breeze gently cutting at your skin in the midst of winter. My heart sank into a thousand pieces on HP.

I glare onto a bright screen, looking for the name of this pure soul and happiness to return...

I fell in with an IbHmoob member...

2008-11-22T19:21:00.000-06:00

It was like love at first internet connection. The first thing that popped into my mind was when I got online. It's like when you're new to MSN messenger and someone says HI to you. You're all excited that you got your first IM. You're like OMG, I must be special. Then you open the IM to reply back to them saying HI. Then the conversation turns into dust. Usually goes from "How are you?" "I'm good, and yourself?" to staring at the blank screen waiting for the other person to respond back.

But this was like none other. This time it was like I talked to her and she talked to me. Non-stop. Can you believe it. It was like magic. It was like we were meant for one another. The pieces of the puzzle just line up perfectly. No jagged edges, not even a crease to make it difficult. I could talk to her for hours on and on and on. We talked endlessly. I knew we were so in love cause every night before she left, she would say "I love you." I was so happy at times. You know the happy where you're clueless to what to say to her. Whether you tell her you love her too, but then she might you're trying to get in her pants and that you're easy; or you don't say it, and she'll be left to wonder if you really feel the same way towards her.

So I took a wild shot and I said it. "I love you." My heart was racing on so hard. Even the nudge on MSN isn't as powerful as my heartbeat. My heart was going so fast that even cable internet had a hard time keeping up with, my heart was overclocking even my processor. Sweats were running down my face, all way down to my feet. The hair on my back stood so hair, I swear I grew an inch. Could this be the feeling of love? Could it? I couldn't come to think of it. I have never fell in love with an IbHmoob member before so I didn't know. I was clueless as a child would be with a condom. It was like I have been blindfolded then spun around in a circle till I was so dizzy I wanted to vomit. Then I was dropped off in the middle of no where to wander about. Wobbling back and forth trying to get my grash of where I was and at the same time catching my balance.

Then I suddenly came back to the world. Just like a light was shining straight from heaven into my room. As if Zordon had teleported the Power Rangers right back to the Command center. I was so grateful. I knew this was love. Not just any ordinary love. It was love like in the Korean Dramas that I used to watch in my alone time. The kind of love that is so magical, that you only see in Disney movies. This was the kind of love that our parents would tell us in stories that happened so long ago with no happy ending. But this, I was sure, it would have a happy ending. Wait, I would make it so there would be no ending to our love.

And there, I knew I was in love with an IbHmoob member. Her name is...

The HP girl who stole my heart...

2008-11-22T19:17:00.001-06:00

So then, it started as everyday, the sun rose in the east. Slightly peeking out of my eyes, hearing the annoying alarm clock buzz at me to get up. I couldn't press the right button for it to snooze so I decided to get up. It was one of those days, where all the buttons on the alarm clock didn't turn off the alarm, you had to unplug that thing. I jumped to my feet and wandered off into the shower. Slowly scrubbing away at all the dirt that I have picked up during my restless night.

Then I turned on my computer. I sat down, typed in my computer password. You know, I like to keep a password just incase someone logs on my computer. You never know, they might just steal your naked pictures or see that you've been watching porno. But that's not the point. First thing I did was check my email on MSN. Nope, nothing. So then I decided to log on HP. As for you who don't know what HP is, it's HmongPride.com. It's some chat site for us losers to go chat on. But yeah, I go there for the hell of it.

Never did I suspect, I would find a true love on there. I logged in and there was this girl. Her icon was never the less, a shape so wonderful, as if the bright speckles in the night sky glazing around the moon. The color of pure royalties covered the insides of her icon. She was a purple star. Hence her name was STARR too.

The moment I saw her name, my heart was enlighten with love. My eyes speckled like the burning fire in the mist of the Alaskan forest. Where you can see nothing for miles on, but the tiny fire burning slowly, slowly, slowly, trying to keep warm. Also, not be eaten by polar bears and being careful not to melt all the snow or you'd be in a puddle. I double clicked on her name to send her a private message. But, OMG, I couldn't. The admin of HP had turn off the private messaging. I couldn't do it. So then I was struck with a decision.

Either I was going to let her go by while all the other hungry savage guys on HP gnaw at her, or was I going to jump in there with all the savages and rescue her from the heart of danger? Then inside me, came this burst of energy. Kind of like in the Grinch where in the end he finally became good. His heart grew bigger as my love for this girl grew bigger too. I suddenly had the courage to type to her. I typed, "Hi Starr."

She replied back to me, "Hi Ninja." In my mind, this little child was going, "*Blush* Omg, she talked to me." I felt like I could win the powerball over and over again. And yet I had nothing more to say to her. Then I thought quickly to myself to say something before she ignores me and think I'm some loser kid on HP. "Do you have a picture to share with me?" I asked her out of quietness. She goes, "No."

I had to see her picture. I needed to see. Maybe I should bribe her into letting me see it. So I offered her my picture. She then looked at me with a glare smilie face emotion and said, "I already seen." My heart panicked, "How did you see my picture already?" I asked her surprisingly.

I had nothing more to say, for she wasn't interested in me. But, I wasn't going to give up. If I were to give in now, she would think I'm just another loser guy like all those other guys. I then asked her again, this time, as I typed the word, I said it out loud in real life, "Please share me your picture. =)" Then I bothered the heck out of her till she gave it to me.

Omg. When I saw her picture, I knew I was in love with her. She stole my heart. And so the journey begins...