Passage before love.

-Originally a piece that I wrote on www.HmongPride.com- Clickable

I go by the name of Xeng. As many of you might know, I was born in Thailand. I came over in the year 2002. When I was applying, I didn't know my birthday, so they gave me one. I was born in 1987. Yeah, I know, I was only 15 when I came to the USA. But in reality, I believe I was older. Oh well, that just means I have more of a chance to go to school and learn stuff. I started as a freshman in high school. New to the states, I was quiet like your new comer Hmong boy. Slowly, I started befriending more and more Hmong people. The guys were always about playing and girls. And the Hmong girls were always about being good and school work.

Slowly, throughout the year, I started to become someone new. Not that quiet Hmong boy who didn't want to raise his hand in case he had the wrong answer. But I went to become a flirt. All the girls in school knew me, even the guys. There rarely was a single girl that ever made it pass me without talking with me.

Well that is until this one particular girl, who recently transferred to our school. Her name was Nkauj. When I first saw her, I thought she was a beauty. A true beauty. I just love the way she smiled with her eyes. It's like you could see happiness browsing her eyes. I started talking to her because I wondered if I stood a chance. Finally, a girl that I wondered if I could get with her. Someone who was worth stopping being a flirt for.

Then one day, as I was talking to her, one of friends was there too. Her friend asked me if I knew we had the same last name. Wow, was I stunned. I didn't know what to think and so I asked her. She confirmed to me that she was yet the same last name. My mind puzzled and felt defeated. Deep inside, I hid away anything that I started with her because my my morals, I couldn't talk to someone of the same clan name. I'm not saying it's wrong, but I'm for doing it myself. Love can make people do some crazy stuff.

After that day and the little discussion, I stopped talking to her. Only to eventually slip out my real feelings for her and talk to her. Yet, I knew it was wrong to do so, so I held back. You know, it's like when you see the answers to the test on the table and nobody is there looking. You just want to take the answers, yet you don't want to get caught and you know it's wrong.

Weeks went by, I started to notice her less and less. I continued on with my daily tasks of enrousing girls. On that day, I was sitting around with Kor. Out of the blue, Kor says to me, "Xeng, Nkauj said she's not coming to school no more." I thought he was joking. He continued, "She said it's because of you that she doesn't want come to school anymore." What? What did I do? I haven't even talked to her for weeks, or I couldn't remember when I last did. I just shrugged it off, not thinking anything.

Suddenly one day, one of girl buddies, Lia, came up to me. She asked me what I was doing. Well, I looked around and was like, I'm just talking to that girl. What's wrong with talking to girl when you're a single guy? Nothing, I presume. In a straight forward action, she said, "Don't you know that you're hurting someone doing this? Don't you know that someone really likes you?" I chuckled to myself, of course there's someone who likes me. I joked to her, "Who would like me, I'm a fob?" In secret, she explained to me that Nkauj was the girl who really liked me. I was baffled. I told her, "Didn't you know we're both the same last?"

Lia looked at me confused. "No, she's not," Lia argued back. "What, go ask her yourself. I asked her last time and she confirmed it for me," I replied. "No, you got it all wrong. She really likes you a lot and you're hurting her by talking to every single girl you see," Lia responded with aggression. So I agreed to go talk to Nkauj.

It was passing time and I caught her in the hallway. "Nkauj!" I called out to her. She turning her head my way, I could see the sparkles fly like in those Korean movies. It was like time stopped for us. Just me and her, everyone around in the hall just walked around us. Our eyes planted in each other.

We made some quick talk about how each other was doing, then I walked her to class. I watched as she entered went into the classroom, only to hear the passing time bell ring. Darn it, I was late to my class. I rushed through the halls into the classroom and took a seat before my teacher took attendance. It was 4th hour Advance Algebra. I loved math, it was one of my top subjects, other than computer and business classes. Like your typical fob, I was horrible in English courses.

I sat through math class pondering about her. I questioned myself if it was the truth. If she really did like me. I thought about her over and over again. "Xeng, do you know the answer to this problem?" Mr. Rodgers asked me. Darn it, I wasn't paying attention. "Uh, no?" I looked lost. Mr. Rodgers quickly picked someone else to solve the puzzle, lucky for me I could just my fob accent to help me out. Lunch was next, and Nkauj was in my lunch hour. Darn, I just couldn't wait to talk to her again.

My heart excited as I stood in line for the hot lunch. Yeah, I know, I come from a low income family so I get free lunch. Better than going hungry at school. It's not the best food, but it's edible. As I stood in line waiting, my buddy Ker came up to me. "Xeng, you know that Nkauj likes you?" I laughed at him, "Dude, you got to be kidding me. A girl like her liking a fob like me?" Ker was being serious, he said he talked to her and she's really in to me. Ker suggested that I get her number and call her up.

Little did Ker know, I was already planning to ask her. Just I haven't had the chance to talk with her yet. I turned the shoulder and what do you know, she was standing there and heard our whole conversation. Now she knew that I knew. I looked at her and smiled with my dimples. I know, I know, most girls like those. Thank goodness I have them. But yes, I would be nothing without them too though.

I walked up to Nkauj. She just stood there waiting for me to approach. "So, um, Nkauj, I heard you like," I questioned her like a dumbass. Damn, I thought myself, where's all my pickup lines for all those girls I flirted with? How come this girl makes me feel dumb and I don't even know what to say to her? If it was just a typical girl, I would of just brushed her with my corny pickup lines. But Nkauj was different, I wanted to say things that wouldn't make me look like a fool.

The entire lunch period went by and I spent it talking with her. Also at the same time, eating my food normally so she wouldn't think that I was a slop. She was so charming to talk with. I really loved it. Ker kept budding in on me, telling me to ask for her number. Of course, he didn't just whisper it to me, he said it so loud she noticed. Oh boy, now how was I supposed to ask? Anyways, the period was over and I walked her to her next class.

End of the day came and I saw her by the doors about to leave. I pushed through the crowd of people to catch to her just as she was about to get into the car. Her dad was there to pick her up. "Hey Nkauj, um..." I mumbled, "When are you going to let me call you?" Oh darn, now I sound like such a loser. She just glanced at me with no interest. I paused myself, "Nkauj, can I get your number?" She looked at me with content and gave it to me. I told her to write it on my hand. Yeah, you know it, it's the cool thing to do. Now for a whole week, I wouldn't wash it off of my hand just so people would know I got her number. I was so happy.

Later on that night, after I did my homework. I picked up my phone. I punched in her number and took a deep breathe. I thought to myself, make a good impression, you don't want to scare her off. She's a special girl, don't scare her off and don't let your flirty side get to her. I pushed call. Please listen to this call tone as we connect you, Baby are you down, down, down, down... "Hello." I heard the most beautiful voice on the other end of the line. "Uh, hi, is this Nkauj?"

We continued to talk the whole entire night. She confessed that she did actually like me and that she lied to me about her last name. No biggie. She said that she has been watching me from far, where I don't notice her. She's been looking at me when I flirt with other girls. How she was jealous of them and wondering when I would notice her. I explained to her that it's because I thought she was of the same last name that I stopped talking to her. At the time, my heart wouldn't allow me to do such a thing, it was just wrong, I didn't want to lead on a girl of the same last name into something that will be nothing.

But now, she wasn't of the same, she was different. Enlighten my heart. We talked the whole night, resulting in me knocking out on her. I remember that day like it was yesterday. October 13th. That was the date that we first talked. Little did I know, days after after, I would continue to call her every single night.

I felt so comfortable with her already. It started at day one, she was really something. She was someone I could see myself being with. Someone who draws my entire attention. Someone would would make me stop flirting with every single girl that I peek my eyes upon. On the second night, she asked me to wake her up in 10mins since she was tired. I said okay, but I couldn't stop from talking to her while she was taking her nap. "Nkauj, you have 8 mins left," "Nkauj, you have 2 mins left," and so on. She laughed and giggled at the way I kept her up during her supposed nap.

Three days came along and I was so excited to talk with her every night. But this night, she asked me to stay with her on the phone all night since she was tired. I told her not to worry and I wouldn't hang up. Next thing I knew, it was morning and time for school. I walked into school wondering if she was there yet.

Out from behind, she came up to me and said to me, "Thanks for last night, I really enjoyed it." I smiled all the way down to my heart, knowing that I did something that means something for her. I thought to myself, this is coming off really great. I'm really into her and she likes me too. Love that goes and returns, that's my kind of relationships.

Weeks went by, we spent more and more time together. I would make her mad at me once in a while, then I would spend the entire day trying to make it up to her. She was pretty stubborn, yet I tried with all my might, telling myself to never give up if I really wanted her to be the one. So I never gave up trying. I pursue every ounce of energy that I had just to make her happy.

Suddenly one night, I was up waiting for her. She wasn't home yet. Made me wonder where she could be. I thought about her even more and I missed her. Then, I thought I'd call her one more time. What do you know, this time she picked up. She said she just got home and needed to shower. She told me she would call me after she showered. I laid in bed waiting, 30mins, 40mins, 50mins, and I lost myself. I knocked out.

I woke up about a hour later. I thought about her then suddenly grabbed my phone. Did I miss her call and not hear? I looked, nothing. So I called her. She picked up. "How come you didn't call me after you showered?" I asked her sleepily. She told me someone else called her and she would call me back in 5 minutes. Okay, sure, I thought it was reasonable. She called me back in 5 minutes. She explained to me one of her guy buddies was having issues and she was talking him. Oh, I didn't really care now that she was talking to me.

Morning came again, and it was school. I sat at a table with my buddies Kor and Vi. Vi goes, "Hey Kor, you know what I noticed different about Xeng?" I looked at him waiting for a joke. "Xeng has flirted with girls for so long. I miss my flirting buddy," Vi told Kor. Kor agreed with him that I have been different lately. They both came to the conclusion that it was because of Nkauj that their friend has become someone new. I just smiled at them, not saying a word because I knew it was true.

The more time I spent with her, the more people started to notice. Those girls that I use to talk to in the past confronted me. Endless amounts of them were angry at me. Saying what happened to me and them. One girl by the name of Ia even yelled at me screaming to never speak to me again. Even though she had a boyfriend, who I knew too. I have never considered her more than friends ever, not to add she had a boyfriend. Another named Kia, claiming we had something going on. All the sudden, all these girls were coming forward.

Majority of the people questioned and wondered what ever happened to me and Maicee. She too was a new girl to the school that everyone thought I pursued. Yet, she wasn't enough for me to stop my habits for. Then they questioned about Choua, Foua, and Ka. I know, I left myself with a bad name to start with. I hoped to myself that Nkauj would believe me that I honestly did like her. Not just like those other girls that I flirted with to pass the time, but I saw something in her. Something special that I wanted with me.

Continued in a little later. I've lost my mojo for this story, I shall continue it another day perhaps. Look forward for part 3. I just miss her too much right now to continue writing this random story. Anyways, remember that this story is fictional. Do not assume that anything happened since it is meant to seem real. Thanks for reading.

Moment of the spur.

-Originally a piece I wrote on www.HmongPride.com- Clickable

I quickly closed the door behind me as I stumbled on into the small room. It was as if I was in one of those sci-fi movies running away from the alien and I had just made it in time to close the door so the alien wouldn't get through. Btu then, you know how always goes, the alien will find a different way, through some other way or the ceiling. Movies these days are nearly predictable, but still fun to watch.

Looking around the room, I could see myself at a distance. I moved, he moved, I breathed, he breathed. Now it was getting weird, was I stuck in one of those mirror mazes? I then took a quick glance around the room, noticed 2 strange foreign instruments. One was tall, up to my waist with a dome shape, but it was the inside of it. On the top of the inside out dome was 2 round triggers and 1 leakage pipe.

The other instrument that I noticed was lower, to about my knee. It was in the shape of a bowl and had water in it. I wonder to myself if this was the foundation of youth for a sec, but then decided to not try it myself since I didn't want to live for ever like Tuck Everlasting. I'll take my chances as a normal human. This strange object as had a trigger, but not like the other, it was flat, seemed like it was a control key of some sort.

So I was curious, I turned the trigger count clockwise. The engine started to rumble. I looked down at the bowl and the water was gone, it must be an alien spaceship that the aliens have perfected a water fueling system to operate their ship. As the grand engine rumbled away, I turned to my left to notice, there was another door there.

I pulled open the hammered window door and then it came to me. I was in my bathroom, getting ready to shower.

The Quaterback.

-Originally a piece that I wrote on www.HmongPride.com- Clickable

The door swung opened slowly, revealing the most beautiful woman ever. Sexy curves which you could only find on a centerfold. It was like those game shows where they open the door and behind there you find the mystery prize. But instead of a mystery prize, I knew what the prize was. I just didn't know how she was going to give it to me. Dressed down to only her bra and panties, she tempted me with a deathlike kiss.

Traysee dragged her feet across the carpeted floor like a model on the catwalk. Slowly, one foot in front of the other as she inched on closer to me. I could feel this feeling inside of me, warm, soft, oozing. My mind urge for her vigorous beauty, I just wanted to be wrapped up in it. Like the sinister snake, she slithered onto the bed.

Gently she glided her hands like a pilot landing her plane. Right up the runway of my legs towards the command tower, centered at the middle of the two runways. On her knees, she leaned forward to kiss me. Not the cheap kisses where it's over in a sec, but the ones with tongue. Where you wrestle back and forth exchanging saliva. Her grabbing at the back of my head holding me so I can't escape her spell. The command tower lit up in inspiration towards her as she landed herself on it.

Unhurried, I raced down her back, tripping over her bra strap. Triggering it to fall off onto my chest. Almost instantly she swept it away and continued with her ritual of love. My hands still journeying on down, just to slip under her bright red panties. She grabbed my hand forcefully but I assured her with a kiss. Loosening her grip on my hand, I circled around her slender body.

Suddenly a door slammed down the hallway. "Honey, I"m home," the voice said. Footsteps echoed the halls, approaching the room. She leaped off of me like a pouncing tiger. I fumbled onto the ground like when the quarterback drops the ball. Grabbing on as much of my garments as I could as I glared her pull on hers. Pulling the window opened, I sprung out like a ninja just as he entered the room.

I ran like I was doing a quarterback sneak. Widereceivers were covered, running backs all out, tightends defending, only choice left is to run for first down before I get tackled. Only thing left in my mind was if I would get to continue the play another time due to delay of game or was it a false start?

Who Will Be Her Prince?

"Ahhhh", I signed as I sat down on my computer desk. I could feel my stomach bloated from dinner. I know, I should have eaten that extra piece of meat. We all know how it feels like, when the food is so tastey, you just can't get your fat butt from the table. You just want to eat away. I could feel the skin around my belly tightening as I glared at the computer screen.

I clicked on HmongPride.com, as it was already put on my favorites. You know, I go there so much. I'm like celebrity there. It's like those Hmong parties that you show up; everyone there says hi to you weither or not they know you. Of course, we are Hmong, so it's quite understandable. I typed away my screen name. Lately, I've been thinking of new screen names because I wanted to feel unique and new to HP. But yes, knowing me, even if I were to have a new name, everyone recognizes me. So there's not much use of hiding.

Today was one of those active days on HP. The screen moving at a steady pace, not too fast and not too slow. It's like the moments where you're on the freeway right before rush hour. The traffic is nice and thick, but cars are moving. Not like when it is rush hour, cars everywhere, piled up. Bumper to bumper, inching to move on forward. I mean, come on, if we all just stopped moving slowly, traffic would be fine. But out of luck, nobody interesting was on, so I blattered with some new comers.

All of the sudden, a person asked me if I was Peter. "Peter Salavong?" she asked me. I was like, "Yes, that's me." Thinking to myself, probably another one of my many fans on HP. Then again, the name resembled someone I knew. Her screen name reminded me of my Ninja student, Akina. But of course, I was certain that Akina would know who I was, even in desigse. I quickly asked her, "And who are you?" She then told me that I probably don't remember her. She claims that we met a while long ago, but she just hasn't been around lately. I couldn't remember who she was and opening admitted that I forget easily.

There was something special about this girl. Her words were speaking to me. You know, it's like when you're out shopping and you see the perfect clothes. They just jump out at you saying, "Buy me, buy me." She wasn't asking me to buy her, but just something about her charmed me. Catching my interest, somewhere inside my thick skull something clicked. Like those watch that die, replace the battery and everything on the inside slowly kicks in some juice and it ticks again.

Timingly, someone said they were going to sing for us on AsianTown Chat, or better known as ATC. And yes, I just adore singing, especially when it's someone that I could possible get the chance to know or that I know. My HP buddies, me, and her rushed recklessly to ATC. There, I noticed she had a webcam.

What are the chances? First, this stunning soul speaks to me, now I get the chance of a lifetime to view her through the lens of a camera. I sneakly clicked on her webcam. Enlarging it to see better. My mind jumped, only to see her chin. I asked her, "Would you please smile for me?" Oh wow, I thought to myself. She has the most beautiful smile indeed and perfect dimples to go with.

They say, "A lady is only as beautiful as her smile." And as what my eyes could only glance upon, she was truely beautiful. Gorgeous; my mind pondered. In quick stumbling flash, her beauty was gone. And yet, what was left but a swan. Puzzled my heart whined. A swan, the symbol of love and purity. A creature so marvelous. What has happened to this beautiful lady, has she yet turned into a swan? She still continues to speak to me, but in a swan form. Could it be, could I have setted faith upon to meet the tales told in fanasty?

Stumblingly again, she turned back into the beautiful lady that I couldn't steal my eyes from. I just wanted her to continuosly lure me in with her smile, endlessly. As to the fairy tale, Dummy was the Swan Princess of HP. Who will be her prince?

Her sister

Today, yet another day. But yet at the same time, none other like it. I slowly stretched my arms, rubbing the eye booger out of the corner of my eye. Gently to the side I rolled off my bed. Strangling over to my computer, I turned it on. The blue glimmering lights shined to fill the darkness of my room. As the computer booted up, I scrambled into the shower. Quickly soaping myself, shampoo, rinse, and I was out. I dried myself off and clustered on my clothing. I grabbed for my toothbrush and squeezed on some toothpaste to brush my teeth.

Wide awaken now, I walked back to my computer. As I reached my computer, I noticed that someone had messaged me. They left me a message on MSN. I sat down and read it. It was from the lovely lady, Tina. This lovely lady, lovely yet dangerous at once. You know what they say, love is but a double edge sword. One side cuts into their flesh, the other into you. I fiddled my fingers on my computer desk, leaning my head back thinking of what to say to her. She was still online and left me a wonderful message.

Thoughts ran through my mind, questioning myself to say something encouraging. Something that would lurk her into my neck of the woods. Something creative, yet at the same clueless. Something like the excepted but it was buried under thousand of yells of ancient civilization ruins. My mind raced from place to place, around the world I went. Then again, nothing came through, so I dived into the deep blue sea with a hello.

Never the less, she was still awaiting at her computer. Or I would like to think that she was waiting for me, since she replied rather quickly to my response. I know, I know, I'm getting too over confident about this, she probably was busy doing half a dozen other things. Then at the tinkering sound of my message she just by chance happen to misclick onto my window. That's how it happens in the Korean Dramas but here we were in reality. Where magical things don't happen unless you make it happen.

With welcomings said and done, we continued on with our usual. We would ask how each other did, if the other ate yet, what are you going to do, what are you doing, and so on so forth. The usuals. Things quiet down for a few mintues, I didn't want for her to think that I was some total loser that didn't know what to say to her. So I prickled myself into a question, "Hey Tina, would you get on cam for me?"

"Sure thing," she replied with a gesture, "but you'll have to cam too." Thinking quickly to myself, I look like a scrub. "Oh, brb, I need to do something quickly," I typed back to her. Quickly I scrambled myself together, fixed my hair a bit so I would look like a bum. You know, my dad always says my hair looks like a bird's nest when I don't comb it. Didn't want her to think the same. I quickly went to my closet and grabbed a nice shirt so I would look good on cam. "Back," I proclaim to her.

Soon enough we were on cam, busy smiling at each other. It was like the first time when a boy and girl catch eyes on each other and you can't stop smiling. The lips don't even cover your teeth, no matter what color your teeth are or what's stuck in it. You just keep smiling on. These are the magical moments that you wouldn't want to forget. Felt just like I was in some Korean drama, but an online verison and reality, not just movies.

I keep staring on at her, noticing her beautiful smile glimpsing at me. Then I noticed someone in the background. "Who's that?" I asked her. Tina told me it was her younger sister. Thinking to myself, wow, she has a younger sister. Wondering if she looked a thing like Tina. "Hey, could you tell her to get on cam for me?" I shyly asked Tina. I watched as Tina turned around to ask, but her sister was gone. "She went downstairs," Tina told me. Ill fated me, didn't get the chance to see what her sister looked like.

Thinking today was my lucky day since Tina got on cam for me, I thought I would take a shot and ask for her number. "Here goes nothing," I told myself, "a girl like her, what are the chances?" "Um, Tina," I slowly mumbled on the chat window, "Would I?" I press enter without finishing my sentence. "Would you what?" she questioned in return. "Would I be able to get your number?" I filled in the blank. She kindly gave it to me with no questions asked, except for one clause, I had to not call block. She doesn't accept block calls. Then she told me she would have to go help her mom for a while and she's be back later. I gave her my kind farewell and let her go.

Now, my luck was rolling in. I felt like I could gamble the world and still win it back. I could take a one to a million odds and still win. Only thing was, I had to wait till 9pm to call her. Since free minutes didn't start till then. How boring, how troublesome. Time ticked so slowly, hours went by and yet, not even time yet. My watch was going slow, my clock was slow, my everything was slow.

Finally it was time, I dialed, beep boop teep teep beep boop beep toop teep beep. The phone rang as I cleared my thraot so I could make good first impression. A voice picked up, "Hello, who's this?" My mind impressed with her voice. It was like angels singing, like that sweet drop of honey that you just can't have enough. You drink it till it runs dry, yet this river of a lovely voice never stopped flowing. My heart never skipped a beat and I nearly forgot to take a breathe. Her voice was marvelous, so beautiful and deadly, I could sleep to it. "I'm Peter," I answered, "Who are you, is Tina home?" "Oh, I'm Debbie, hang on," she explained to me. "Um, err, could you waait," I stopped her. "What, I thought you wanted to talk with Tina?" she questioned me.

Now my mind was senselessly uttering, her sister had caught me in a tranch which steals me away with no return, no way back, not even Dorthy's red heels saying, "There's no place like home"...

$350 Deal

Vrrrrroooooommmm. My car screamed down the road. Left signals quickly blinked and I pulled up into my drive way. Thump, thump, the sound of doors shutting echoed in the winter wonderland. I walked over to the other side of the car to assist my lovely lady, as if I was her escort. She was so everly beautiful, her name was Gao. Right as I continue to escort her to the door, my house door swung open. My mom stood in the doorway with welcoming arms.

My mom glittered away, "Oooh, you are Peter's girlfriend. You're so pretty." I was thinking to myself that of course she would be pretty. If she wasn't, then I wouldn't of took her to meet my mom. Now Gao, if you can picture this, she had a slim body figure. Like those centerfolds, prefectly shaped and proportioned. Her meduim lenght hair sparkled like silk of a sinster snake. Her face flawless with the most beautiful smile in the world. I swear she could kill a man with that smile. It was a good thing, I kissed her everytime she was about to smile; otherwise it would be as deadly as Medusa.

My mom dragged Gao with her to the kitchen to talk with her. My mom was so excieted to finally meet my girlfriend. Gao, I could tell from the way she walked and talked that she was shy. But before hand, I warned her and told her to be brave. Don't be scared of my mom, for this could be the only time. While in the car, I couldn't help but stare at her. She would glance back to me with with those "I love you" eyes and end it with a smirk.

I stood straight across the kitchen table admiring how she sway gently with her feet back and forth while sitting there commencing with my mother. Every time she would peek over at me, I would pretend to not be looking at her. Then look right back and smile flirtingly. I know, I couldn't resist it. She was just too much of a beauty to lay my eyes off of her.

Finally, time had rolled by for a quite a while. I could tell by her wandering eyes that she wouldn't last much longer. Parents can go on forever. Luckily only my mom was home, otherwise she would be there for another hour or so. I quickly interrupted my mom and told her we had a dinner date to attend. And that we were going to go there early because we had to stop at the store to buy something for her. My mom insisted on her staying there for longer, since my mom enjoyed company. My two sisters had gotten married already and my mom was the only woman at our house.

We hustled out of the door, with our warm jackets zipped up. Thump, thump. The sound of my doors closed again. "So, where would you like to go?" I questioned her. Slowly I inched out of the driveway, checking to see if any cars were coming. "Oh yeah, here's your $350," I said to her, handing her the money.

"How about some Perkins, them a walk around the mall, and take me to play some games?" she answered me back. "Sure thing and thanks for being my girlfriend for the day," I exclaimed, "I hope my mom doesn't ask again for a while." She questioned, "Can we stop and play ninja warrior somewhere?" I looked at her with promising eyes, "The park will do." And so my $350 deal was near to the finish. Within a week or so, I would tell my mom that we broke up and that all women were evil. I would complain that I wouldn't get married till 30 and hope my mom never asks me again for a while.

She reminded me...

Outside was quite the muggy day. Fog creeping up on your doorstep like those scary movies, just about ready to grab your feet, then again it's just a gasp of cloud. I pressed the garage door button to close it and quickly dash under the garage door. Trying not to hit the sensor beam to open the garage again. Woshppppppph! Nearly lost my grip of the ground. I just recently ice stormed over our little town. Our trees were crystallized; when the sun shined at the right spot, you could see the beauty of the world.

I quickly rushed to the door, as the cold was biting on to me. I just got up to send my brother to school. I wasn't dressed yet, just in my sweats and a warm sweater, and a jacket tossed on. I had one of those puffy jackets, you know the ones that make you look as if you were a marshmallow. I opened the door, slipped off my shoes at the front door, as all Hmong families do. Then quickly turned and raced down the steps, threw my jacket and sweater off on my rocking chair.

Beep, boop, my computer started up. The blue glimmering lights shined in the darkness of my room.Before long, I was logged on to HP again as usual. Today was an awkward moment, as soon as I hit the chatroom, everyone welecomed me. Then there was this random girl who said hi to me. Didn't have a single clue who she was. I tried to ask her how she knew me but I didn't get any response from her. Everyone else muttered that I go chat so much that everyone ought to know me. They always say, there's hardly a person who doesn't know my name. Of course, doesn't mean I'm famous or anything, I'm just friendly.

I thought she was someone else, so I called her by that name. Soon enough, I figured that she just played along with me. I was just another clown sitting on the dunk tank and she kept throwing balls. Luckily I didn't fall in yet even though she hit the target. She didn't hit it hard enough. I told her to add me onto MSN since she knew who I was. Apparently, I just tried to trick her into revealing who she was. Didn't work too well though, since her MSN didn't display who she was. Her picture was hidden from my view and every time I would ask her, she would shy away from the subject.

I talked to her for hours on, trying to figure out who she was. I was like one of those chess geeks, poundering at what move to make next before my time was up. Across the board, or the net, this time was the other geek who was cleverly hiding their skills and thinking of new plans to trick me to coming out, so they can defeat my king. Finally after hours end on hours, she finally showed me who she was on cam. At the glance of her chin, she looked so familiar, as if I knew her from another life time. I knew that I have seen that chin of hers, the way she smiled. Her teeth, that nose. And yet, she wouldn't reveal to me what her eyes looked like. I quickly asked, "Would you please move the cam so I can see who you really are?" She adjusted the cam a bit, yet not revealing who she was either.

I kindly asked her to smile for me. As I believe that any girl is defined by her smile. Her smile was so beautiful, it sparked up her entire face. I felt as if I had kissed those lips before, as if I had pressed against those bare skin of her cheeks. I swore, I stared deeply into those beautiful eyes before and told her that I loved her. I couldn't figure, my mind just went berserk. My heart sung as if I was in love with her. I then asked her for a name. She replied with her name, of which I cannot name. "What?!" my mind questioned, "This beautiful lady, is she not that person of which I once love?" How come she possesses a different name, age, location, and everything was different. But her looks, so convincing to my mind that she was the beauty that I once loved. She has to be.

Then suddenly, she turned off her cam. I asked her why. She told me she had to sleep, for she had school in the early morning. She said she would return tomorrow to continue chatting with me. My mind cleared up and wished her a goodnight and sweet dreams. That night, I pondered on, deciding whether or not she was the person of which I once loved. What are the chances? They look exactly alike, yet act differently.

Tomorrow, I got up early. I awaited for her to come online all day. My heart raced as each minute ticked on the clock. I would sit and watch each MSN popup, not seeing her log in at all. It was like those lone cowboy movies, where you're out in the middle of the desert. Heat beating down upon you and you're thirsty. As I turned to look at the TV, I didn't notice, but she came online. She sent me a message. I glanced back to see a message for me and a smile on my face.

She then asked me of a question. She asked, "Will you love me?" My mind puzzled and I answered her, "How can I love you within a day of meeting, why not we get to know each other much better?" I certainly couldn't love someone I just met in a single day. I just couldn't do this, if I were to tell her I would love, I knew I was sure to break her heart within time. She begged of me to just love her, just love her even if I were to break her heart. Even just for one day, she would be happy to be my love. I explained to her that I couldn't love like that, I hate breaking hearts and wasn't willing to do that to her since she was so nice to me.

Yet, she wanted me to either way. I told her to let me think about it since there was something questioning my mind. Something stumped my mind and wouldn't let me get with her. I felt as if I were in a trap with myself. I set this up but yet caught myself only.

And so that night, I figured my thoughts. I couldn't bare break her heart. She reminded me of someone. Someone who I spent over a year praising, trying to mold us into a good relationship. The looks, their face were exact to the point where it scared me a bit. Not because of ugliness, but of the similarity between them. I broke one's heart, I was sure history would repeat itself and could not bare to break another's heart. Like a fairy tale, I left it untold that she reminded me of someone that I once loved...